i just found out that arsenal has 5 or more players who are islam
wow! hahah
robin van persie, i knew he was islam,
but i thought he was the only one

then when i watched an arsenal match,
i saw armand traore(17) baca doa
i was pleasantly surprised
then my father told me that
kolo toure(26), abou diaby(21) and jeremie aliadiere(24) are also islam

hmm... interesting, huh? hahah

so now i'm officially unemployed again
yesterday was my last day
i'm so sad to be leaving!!
omg!

tears were shed, gifts (i.e. chocolates) were exchanged, pictures were taken
damned it, but i do regret not dressing up nicer yesterday
hahah
the picture up there was taken at the end of the day
most of us are temps, six of whom had their last day yesterday
including me

it's so depressing when i start to think about it
like, no more walking into an empty, cold office, early in the morning
and watching people filtering in
and sleeping on my desk
and then when sarah brings my breakfast, feasting on a mcmuffin or roti hotdog or old chang kee
while waiting for the computer to start and for us to be given the list of updates

no more getting iced milo from the vending machine without paying
and using the executive toilet only because it looked like it belonged in a hotel

no more pondering about where to have lunch
or enjoying our packed lunch in the pantry or at the staircase
with other office people
or even coming back late from lunch and wondering if we were the last ones

no more complaining about PHUpdate being slow
or e-bao being sluggish
or our accounts being locked
or even about being sleepy the moment we start work again

no more talking to each other about ghosts stories or harry potter
or gossiping about other temps (hahah!)
or complaining about policy holders(ph) who make our work harder

no more calling people up on the phone to ask about their address
or e-mail
or telling them the haven't received a password because they haven't updated their hp no.s

no more staying back late to reach the target (like when i just started)
or cheering each time we get over the target
or reminiscing about the time we did 110 updates by lunch

no more seeing the fun people of the work place
or whispering about the people who make the workplace a little less pleasant
=(

anyway, now my list of "no-more"s have ended
i think i'll just talk about arsenal another day
hahah
so sad they lost to blackburn rovers
who played rough, damn those bastards' arses
but i still love them =)

oh GAWD
i'm so bored!
these are one of the rare, few times that i'm bemoaning the holidays
four straight days of nothing?!!
for godssakes, i've been reduced to walking around the house like a zombie
and groaning about having nothing to do


today, we were supposed to go vivo to catch a movie and shop for school supplies
but that fell through
so here i am

thankfully, i called my mom
and we're going to be santai-ing at the west coast beach later on
and then i'll probably catch epic movie with my sis
whom i've persuaded to accompany me tho she's watched it just last saturday

anyway
last saturday, i read the sunday lifestyle section
where they're talking about all things nostalgic

so here are a few nostalgic things i miss:

1. slurping from saucers
hahah
i used to do that all the time when i was young
when the tea was too hot, u noe?
reminds me of all those old times in my head
all the memories yellowing with age

2. jukeboxes
i really love these things
whatever happened to them?
we used to have one in school
too expensive, i guess
i want my own!
haha

3. old phones
u noe the type
the ones with the dialling thing at the base
and the mouthpiece placed vertically on a stick or summat,
and the earpiece is separate from everything else
and u talk into the mouthpiece in ur left hand
while holding the earpiece in your right hand

4. old cameras
ahh
the ones where u stick your head under a black cloth to take a picture?
or even the one in the story in which sandra bullock acts
and has a daughter who is bespectacled
the black and white photos were spectacular

5. old elevators
ooohhh
i liked watching it in the movies
you have to close the gates first before it creaks and moves up or down
and they're mostly brown
hahah
and i love the buttons!
they looks so fun to press
hahah

6. good relationships with neighbours
this one i really miss
we used to have bbqs
where almost every neighbour we know was invited
and we'd stay up and play till like, 2 in the morning

7. old vinyl records and gramaphones
they look like really fun things to play
and you can play them backwards!
hahah

and, finally...
8. the chipmunks!
and all them other childhood cartoons
like land before time
hahah
really loved watching them as a child
hhhaaaaahhhhhhhaaaaaa


anyway, that's it for today
gotta find something to do...
... like a read a book or sth


seventeen
by simon webbe
(gawd i love his songs!)

Seventeen, I was living life
Chasing dreams and my hopes were high
Trying to get around my fear of
When and where do I go from here

I asked somebody close to me
Who could see a lot further than a boy could see
Oh, oh, oh and he said...

Oh my, oh my, oh my these days are flying by
I still feel seventeen inside, not one day over
Don't let the trials of life, change who you are tonight
Stay seventeen each time you get one year older

I said you're at that time of life when your heart is strong
Your future's bright, you can do no wrong

And don't you let those feelings out of sight

Keep a hold of them as the years go rolling by

These words have always stuck with me
But now I'm only getting what it all appears to mean
Oh, oh, oh and he said...

Oh my, oh my, oh my these days are flying by
I still feel seventeen inside, not one day over
Don't let the trials of life, change who you are tonight
Stay seventeen each time you get one year older

He said...my years have come and gone, in oh such little time
And I hope you live your life the way that I lived mine
Stay young at heart, stay young in mind

So I said...

Oh my, oh my, oh my these days are flying by
I'm still seventeen inside, not one day over
I won't let the trials of life, change who I am tonight
Stay seventeen each time you get one year older

One year older, one year older....oh my oh my oh my oh my

So stay seventeen each time you get one year older

the ironic thing is, i'm not seventeen yet! hahah
so this song means i'm feeling older than i am...
...well, whatever

well, this is to make up for the previous post
may seem really random, that post
well, i was angry

anyway
i just watched another arsenal match
against blackburn rovers, this time

and i realised, that only lately have i become a real fan
i mean, i've always supported them since young
but only because my brother did
i didn't watch matches
only read the results the next day

felt faintly proud if arsenal won something,
like the FA cup or something

but never actively supported them
but now, i watch every match i can,
even waking up at 2 or 4 in the morning
go ARSENAL!!!

hahah
anyway, here are my thoughts on some football players
since i watch them alot now

the team: arsenal
founded 121 years ago
one of europe's leading football clubs
known as the gunners, cos they're logo is a cannon
plays at the emirates stadium after moving out of highbury (which they moved into in 1913)
third largest fanbase in the world, estimated 27 mill

thierry daniel henry:
my fave! the greatest striker in the epl
arsenal's skipper (or captain)
30 this year, but still as great as ever
makes scoring look easy and really tall (1.88m)
arsenal's top scorer ever
started an anti-racism campaign- stand up speak up
like me, loyal and loves arsenal =))

francesc fabregas (FAB4):
only 19 years-old, from spain
central midfielder vital to arsenal
cute-like,i like him! =)
made his debut in 2003, aged 16, youngest ever first-team player for arsenal
youngest ever goalscorer for arsenal and in champions league history
consistent and really really good
will play for arsenal till he's 27, longest ever contract in e epl
hahah

tomas rosicky:
another fabulous player,a left winger
really good at getting in, out, and playing through tight spaces
27 year-old from czech republic
nick-named little mozart
really high cheekbones, cleft in chin, strong jaw
looks discerning; is discerning

aliaksandr hleb:
26 year-old belarusian
plays either wing, good at dribbling
he looks like a nice person, don't ask me why
a dead-ball specialist

jeremie aliadiere:
24 year-old frenchman, a striker
only heard of him lately, but signed in 1999-2000 season
only including him here cos i like his name,
pronounced eh-liee-eh-dee-air
hahah

senderos:
perpetually looks worried, is botak

flamini:
not much thoughts on him

fredik ljunberg:
longest-serving player
underwear model
doesn't look all that innocent
(unlike henry, who always does a gallic-shrug whenever he fouls someone)

theo walcott:
not really impressed by him
really young; 17
looks really young too, really innocent and naive



now, on to players of other teams...


david bentley:
plays for blackburn rovers
i'm mentioning him cos he looks like wentworth miller
ahhh! hahah
formerly from arsenal

campo:
dunnoe his first name
from bolton wanderers
don't like the way he looks, pudgy, large nose, big hair
(btw, i noticed bolton's players mostly look ber-isi; fleshy)

nicholas(i think) anelka:
i call him bloody anelka
formerly from arsenal
usually causes problems for arsenal
also from bolton wanderers

steven gerrard:
i like him
he and henry have a mutual respect for each other, that's why
and he also looks cute-like
like a teddy bear
hhahah
from liverpool

christiano ronaldo:
gawd, i hate him
liked him when he caused england to bow out of the world cup last year
( i dun really support england; go france!)
but since then...
can't bear the way he looks
not his looks per se
but because he looks smug, arrogant

fernando torres:
really cute 23 year-old
looks young
plays for spain and atletico madrid

and finally, kaka:
full name is Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite
cute player from brazil
25 year-old
a model
in fact, his picture is the first of the cuties series in my miscelanious section of my blog
hahhah


anyway
that's it
long post
but i had fun typing it out
hope people read it
hahah

ciaox

kestrel


Felonious Unlawful Carnal Knowledge

"paranoid abrutis
bloody hell
if there were no consequences, i could bloody gladly kill them
not with a smille on my face, no,
but with the grim face of a person determined to tear apart their flesh"



blinding Effenheimer

diu

gao

french seal

foresail

tabernacle

facit

faen

swedish box

Merde

salope

putain

chier

sale pute

blinkered



gawd am i angry right now
haahh

today, i shall vomit out my thoughts on certain shows that i've watched this week
simply because...
well, because i'm bored

okay... on tuesday i watched the dance floor
bummer that i missed the first group
they were supposed to be good

but i did catch everything else
ohmygawd, did u see jewellery?
like, what? the girl in yellow can''t dance for nuts, the girl in red looked like she didn't want to dance, the girl in purple was...okok

but S.M.L!
the small kid is so cute!
i cldn't believe it when i found out they didn't go through
batucadas?!! they weren't that good!
i mean, the girls didn't have good isolation of the hips
they couldn't shake if their life depended on it
uugghhh

hahah
fina the critic
anyway, moving on to the arena
i like hwi
the school is really nice... hahah
anyway, it was funny watching the debate
like, when the girl said,"huh?"
hahah
and the guy's vocabulary
woah!
my sis told me they were warned about intimidating the opposition with the use of vocabulary and all that
i say, what's wrong with that?
u want the opposition to fluster and fail, right?
what better way than to intimidate them?
and what if that is really the way they speak?
i mean, with these smart hwa chong guys, u never noe
hahah
when i said i liked the school, i really meant it
hahah

ok, now to american idol
yay!
my favourite peeps are:
sanjaya (weee!!!)
the guy who missed his daughter's birth
chris sligh (the funny guy)
antoinella (i think that's the spelling)
laquisha( the lady who has a daughter)
that's it
but they're really good
all the way, guys!
woohoooo!
hahah

but the last two guys, tommy and sundance,
they're really good
i just can't believe tommy didn't make it
his voice was husky and really soothing

ok
the next topic is: the simple life
funny!
and merepek
paris ironing food?
and trying to kill a cockroach with a broom?

but, i tell u, there's one thing i noticed
even tho the american cockroach is way more disgusting than singapore cockroaches,
they're a lot slower
and, man would i like that
easier to kill
and when paris rid the laundry room of bubbles using that blow-thingie?
really ingenious, i must say
quite unexpected

paris and nicole are actually really nice
paris just acts bratty
and nicole is just really... out there
and after seeing her with her dad, i can see why
hahah

just now i watched the office on star world
last episode
the last part was really sweet
i was crying, and my heart was full to bursting
when he said,"i'm in love with you"
and he cried (cos she's engaged, and she said,"i can't)
and in the end when they kissed
i knew all along they liked each other
really obvious, huh?
hahah

but i really want them to be together (in the story, duh)
her fiance is a callous guy who is really uncaring of her feelings
and they really click!

ahahah
ranting about shows that have nothing to do with me
oh, did i mention, arsenal beat bolton 3-1?
yay!
they always got draws before this
they couldn't handle bolton that well
probably cos their playing styles are so different
bolton's really rough-like
while arsenal's game just flows
but this morning at 4 am
hah!
that showed bolton!
three cheers for arsenal!


wearing baju kurung for work tomorrow
everybody does

in a dilemma

darn
should i go to the best jc i can enter, or the one that's closest, or the one with the cca i want?
or should i go poly?

i mean, there's a probability that i can enter acjc
since their lowest point (i.e.highest) is one below mine
but almost everyone's telling me not to
because of some reason or other

hmm
i like the fact that pioneer jc has a cca that i'm really interested in

and ajc isn't that far from here
but the school looks really old

haish....
and poly
should i go to poly?
cos there're two courses i'm really interested in right now
mass comm and hospitality and resort management

haaaaaaaiiiiiissssshhhhHHHH!!!!!!!!

helpp!!!
i have only till tuesday to make a decision
and u noe i'm really indecisive

still thinking it through

today, i've got three things to celebrate:

1. happy centennial entries to my blog! ( and me, who created the posts)
hahah. a hundred posts seems quite alot to me. cos sometimes i forget to blog. hahah
absent-minded me

2. happy birthday to my bro. bought him the fray cd, but he says he doesn't like them. so, god-willing, and money-willing, i'll buy him Muse or john legend. there goes my hard-earned dough.

3. O level results! aaahhh! my results aren't spectacular by any means at all. 10 w/ bonus points. all i want to reveal. big surprise: A1 for eng lit?! i totally crapped for that paper. especially the indian aunty in the unseen prose. like, what?!! And I didn't fail combined humanities, e-maths and chem! i got Bs! okay, nth to be proud of. but still, from failing those three,to B3s! wooohooo!!!!

anyway, i realise, with the coming of money into my pockets, i've been spending more.
okay, here are the items i've bought so far:
two toothbrushes, totalling up to ard $12
chocs $2.30
nerds ard $1.30
skirt $22
shoes $20.70
clutch $5.90
the fray $19.90
simon webbe $18.90

oh no!!!! $103!!
gone with the wind!!
but, no fear, $950 coming tomorrow
woohoo!
however, as a precaution,
my late- new-year's resolution is to buy only these few items this year:
another simon webbe cd
MUSE
john legend
a new school bag
harry potter 7th book
a new dress
a new top

that's all. i hope. no, i must only buy these "few" items. cos i'm saving my money to go australia!!
but i don't think, with all these things bought, that i'll have enough to shop there as well.
hmmm...
what to cancel out?

hmmm...
the dress or the top? john legend or simon webbe? bag or book?

hmmm...

ijc funfair tmr. see u there!

i just know your life's gonna change...

baby not today, maybe not today but someday soon you'll be alright...

congrats to bpghs class of 2006!! and shima!! whoooop!

nearly two weeks since my last post
hmm, time sure flies by pretty fast

Results are this friday
translation: TOMORROW!!!!

unoe, before this i was glad to have tgif every week
thank god it's friday, cos i have a whole weekend of rest
but tomorrow, it's OMGIF
hahah .lame.

anyway, i've really been splurging since i started work:
a skirt at this fashion
shoes from mondo
a clutch from montip

and i want clothes from mango
hahah
but i tell u, the shoes from mondo are really evil
the damned near killed my feet
but they're so cute and all...
but evil. .eVil!.

tomorrow! tomorrow!
isn't there a song with that line?
OMG! TOMORROW!

oh yea, there is a reason why i'm at home on a weekday instead of at work
i'm sick
with flu, cough and sorethroat
all this from 4 am man
couldn't sleep after that until i swallowed some medicine

i need to get an mc
hmm
talked to my cousin on the phone while waiting for my dad to finish using the comp
better to get an mc, she said
i told that to my father, but he said no need
hm?
so shd i or shdn't i?
my father said that i'm only a temp, and i get paid by the day, so it's my loss if i don't work a day
so why shd they care?
haish
i'll decide later

arrggh
i just thought of something else
i have no school shoes!
mine have been discarded since the last day of school
helP!

*cough* *sneeze*
gotta go rest

back at the comp!
hahah

another week of work
i kinda like it
except of course, when the system breaks down, and i can't do my work and meet the quota
i don't even mind having to leave my house at 6.35
i sleep on the bus on the way there

hmm, i came online to write on my blog
and when i was signing in, i caught a picture of me when in sec 1
u noe, after cheering com, in the k-yorz tee and soccer shorts
me, tipah, sarah, jannah and anum
and i realised, i've grown alot since my younger days

i'm alot more mature now, which is expected cos it's been four years since that day
but i've also evolved, in a way
i'm more confident, which is definitely an improvement
and i am more independent, though not by much
but most of all, i believe, and stand by, my own convictions

...

i've always been a little sentimental
nostalgia comes easily
especially since i miss a lot of things from school days
like people i haven't been really keeping in touch with
or the easy routine i fell into once school commenced
or just the feeling that i had no big decisions to make
and the first example of the thing i miss
is really mostly my fault
hmm...
depressing thoughts, i've been indulging in

on a happier note, there is one thing that work has in common with school
the presence of eye candy! hahah
not in my department though
nothing like that particular subject to bring a girl's mood up, huh?
hahah

met sharifah and sarah on tuesday
and guess what?
i'm going to the innova jc open house on the 10th
hahah
i think it'll be fun
i'm going with my cousin and sis
anyone else wanna come?
call me! the more, the merrier, i always say

anyway, so far, i've been to three poly open houses
rp, tp, and nyp
could've gone to more, but with work and all...
man, i regret not going to jc openhouses last eyar
except for rjc, of course
open houses are fun
hahah
each school puts out something different
for rp, i like the fact that they showcase soemthing fun about every diploma
that, and the fact that almost the entire building is air-conditioned
hahah
as for tp, that's where hady was
nuff said
hahah
as for nyp, the dance cometition was fantastic
innovative dance moves and all
i may have my own criticisms of the dances, but for now, i'll keep them to myself
oh yeah, and jade seah was one of the judges

which reminds me, i gotta go catch the dance floor
till next time

fina

over a week has passed since i've updated
but good news:
I'm employed! woohooo!

a data entry job, $50 a day
quite ok
air-con-ed, backrest, free drinks from the vending machine, executive toilet...
hahah

i kind like it, though it's kinda troublesome sometimes
the job's in tampines, so i leave at 6.40 to make it by 8.10
(it starts at 8.30)

but it's ok
i sleep on the bus
the work's ok too

but my bigger news is:
i've come face to face with hady!!
yup! mohd mirzahady bin amir
hahah
ok, at tp open house, we came at 8.30 for the 9.45 am registration
just so we could get seats in front of hady
and we sat directly behind the vips, third row
at eye level with hady
and he sang to us, talked to US

i swear, i never know what to do when he makes eye-contact with the audience
which stars are supposed to do
whenever he looks at me, i freeze (and it was bleeding cold in there)
(did i mention i'm like, the exact centre of the centre row?)

but the last few lines of "you give me wings" he looked at me
right at me
perasaan... hahah
but it was so...AHHHH!
hahah
anyway, then he sat two rows down from us
and diyanah got to ask for his autograph!
i tried afterwards, but his ppl said not to disturb him :(

anyway, after that, he was to perform again at the students' cafe
and diyanah and i were right in front, right in the centre
this time standing, so we were like really close to him

hahah
anyway, he was supposed to throw posters into the crowd, when suddenly
he bent down, smiled and gave one to diyanah
i was, of course happy for her, but a little teeny-weeny bit jealous

hahah
anyway, after a few more posters were thrown, he bent down, smiled and gave one to me!
literally reached down and handed one, specifically, to me
not randomly, like all those other fans in the back
but specifically

hahah:))))

so exciting
i was shocked at first
i just stared at the bloody thing
then my common sense hit me in the head
and i grabbed it
hahah

anyway, after that, he sang ordinary people by john legend
and off he went, accompanied by his posse, off to the god-knows-where


wasn't that exciting?!
hahah

anyway, that day, i was seriously considering going to poly
taking tourism and resort management, accounting or mass comm

the mass comm tour of their studios was great
that made me really want to take mass comm
before this, though i'd thought of becoming a dj or something,
i never actually thought of mass comm as a choice

i just thought, so many people will surely want to take it
and with only two poly's offering it, and only ard 90 student intakes for tp,
not a chance

haish...
to poly, or not to poly?
to jc, or not to jc?

those, my friends, are the hard, life-changing, risky questions

this morning, i woke up feeling miserable
the job at kfc seemed really daunting
all the codes and procedures and you have to be polite while typing everything down?
i didn't think i could do it

today, i'm not going for the third day of the orientation
in fact, i'm quitting
the person said don't give up like your colleague
i don't want to disappoint the supervisor
but it's better her than the customers

cos i'm sure to bungle up the whole job anyway
anyway, i'm not exactly giving up
i'm just leaving this job for a better one
yup!

this morning, a phone call came for me
like a ray of light shining down from heaven on a dark, rainy day
(yup, it's still raining)
so i'm going there on monday
and if all goes well on monday, then i start immediately on monday
no jeans or sneakers, only officewear

i'm so excited!
i've been praying about this since... forever!
and now, alhamdulillah, here's a golden opportunity
and i hope i make the most of it

yesterday was a really crazy day though
after the four hour course at the kfc place
it was raining, not heavily at first
and we(syaz, inessa and i)'d gotten free zingers
being hungry, we just decided that, sod sanity, we'll just eat whilst walking in the rain

so there we were, three crazy looking, drenched, teenagers,
walking in the rain, eating burgers
luckily, my hand is big, and covered most of the burger
so my burger didn't really get that wet
and i used the box to cover it between bites
so it's fine

we even opted to walk in the rain even though we were right beside a shelter
and by then, the rain was really heavy
but we trudged on
hahah

it was really fun
and liberating
it was like we were free from propriety
and were doing what is natural- eating in the rain

this post will be a really long one
cos i will be narrating my dream from this morning
just for the sake of it

anyway, there's this girl
who was me, but younger
and i'm like, the daughter of this guy who's an inventor and really interested in basketball
i dunno why, dun ask me

anyway, for some reason, the people of this small town don't like me
i was somehow a freak for being smart and good at basketball at the same time
after this town event, where i'm shunned again
and there's this boy
who's like the town's coolest boy
but he treats me like a friend

we hugged (innocently, i'm still a kid in this one)
and i don't know what to say
all i'm doing is staring at this poster behind him
and suddenly it snows!
my first time experiencing real snow
(in other dreams, my snow was fake, made by this machine on top of a building)
and it's really nice and soft and magical

then out of nowhere, a hot air balloon comes floating into town
and floats down in front of me
and i jump inside
without thinking anything except, this is a good opportunity

and i have two friends with me
( did i mention i'm ang moh in this one? so nobody in this dream resembles anyone i know)
one made it inside
when i was adjusting the flame, making it bigger so it could carry us up
the hot air balloon suddenly floated up while another, bigger friend (??about my brother's size??) was trying to come in with a bag loaded with supplies
so she's left up down there while we're floating

then i lower the flame so the balloon floats back down
and she gets in with the heavy bag
but now the balloon won't budge
the balloon part of the hot air balloon starts drifting down before i get the chance to really increase the flame
and when i do that, the balloon catches fire
and as i'm looking up at the burning balloon, my dreams fly away

we evacuate the balloon, while the snow and wind takes care of extinguishing the balloon
but it doesn't end on that bad note
no, cos there's an epilogue

here it is:
like, after that event, maybe a few months or years
all i remember is that i'm older
i'm in my home's indoor basketball court

and my dad's giving me pointers while i'm scoring
but guess who's with me?
it's the cool cute guy
and he's there with me
and i remember feeling happier in that part of my dream than before

so the moral of this story/ dream is:
if for some reason, you missed an opportunity due to external factors, like god's will,
there's probably a reason, you know
like in this dream, it turned out not everyone in town wanted me gone
i actually still had a reason to stay
so missing the opportunity to run away and gain happiness from a hostile town
gave me the chance to connect with the person who wanted me to stay
and who gave me a reason to stay,
and i felt happy, a different kind of happy from if i had run away, but happy, nonetheless


BUT
this does not give you an excuse to miss opportunities
it just makes you feel better about missing them if it wasn't your will to miss them


so, go on, take that opportunity
it might just be the perfect thing for you

ugh
for some reason, i can't play back the videos from youtube
but
if you still wanna look at it, just search " travis and heidi - contemporary" and "that eyeliner dance" and they'll appear

AND
to recommend you another dance
search "travis heidi afro pop" in case you can't see the one below
it's so cute... w'happy mama...
hahah


anyway, i'm not jobless!
i've got a job as a customer service agent with kfc
my salary monthly will be about $568
if i work 8 hours a day religiously for six days a week for four weeks
with the deduction of the usual expenses such as transport and lunch

haish
if you work for snow city you get $6-7 an hour

however, i think i'm glad i'm not working for mcD in the same line
cos kfc's delivery menu is really basic
no meals, no drinks
however, for mcD, you have meals, upsize or not, drinks you can choose form, alot more choices
really complicated menu
so as a worker, i'm happy with kfc

i'm still in the training stages
it may seem easy, but it's kinda complicated
you have to multi-task, remember codes, remember the process, be polite, speak clearly

so i really wanna do well
and not get scolded ever

HELP!

hmmm...
so the post before was a really, really weird one
i sounded hopeless, didn't i?
hahah

well, i usually save that kind of ranting for my personal diary
the kind of ranting through which i pour out every feeling i have at that moment

anyways, in lieu of angst in the previous entry
i had ommitted several glaringly obvious things i should have mentioned
like:

my new skin!
hahah
i watched the star wars vcd that syaz lent me
episode III (still haven't returned it... sorry!)
and fell in love with hayden all over again
and then decided to create a skin on him
i was getting tired of draco malfoy anyway

hahah
did u watch so u think u can dance yesterday?
i'm so glad travis did well yesterday
I LOVE YOU TRAVIS!
such a sweetheart
his dancing and expression and movement are all so sincere
and he's just so cuute!
hahah
i like his hair
not what you'd expect on a contemporary dancer
too bad benji wins (i think)
i think benji is too over sometimes

i remember this dance that travis did
on a park bench on stage?
with heidi
but it was so heartbreakingly touching
not to mention their afro pop dance and smooth waltz yesterday
again, another one of my favourites
travis and heidi rock!
and the results show dance choreographed by mia
it was nice!
i hope channel5 show a repeat broadcast of the show soon

heheh
anyway, i'm unemployed!
something i hope never to be in the future when i really need a job
hahah
going for an interview tomorrow
two, if i can make it
if i fail at both
i'll start scouring the classifieds section of the straits times

toodles!


p.s. watch these videos...
they rock together!

right now i'm feeling depressed
my heart feels like it's being squeezed tightly
and my breathings a little laboured

i was just thinking about what i've done with my time since my long holiday commenced
have i come out of my shell?
met new people?
become braver?

or have i just stayed me?
boring old me
rotting away at home
while reading of others' exciting escapades into new worlds and experiences
envying others and regretting my decision to not attend first-three-months' orientation


i'm feeling really tired and old right now
and it's not due to the fact that it's nearly two in the morning

great oppurtunities come and go
and i'm too wimpy to seize them
carpe diem, they say
i ask them, tamen quam?
how do i seize the day?
when regrets plague me, and confidence just evades me
when old mistakes come into play
and my past becomes the obstacle between me and my goals
when realization, enlightenment, and thoughtfulness come to me only now
and even then, they're not enough

tamen quam?

dilemmas are common occurrences in life
people deal with it differently
some deal with it well, others just mess up their actions
i don't want to end up in the latter category
but how to make sure that what you're doing is the right thing?
how do we guarantee that our decision won't come back to haunt us in the deep recesses of the night?

you know what i think?
i think there is no guarantee
nothing to absolutely ensure that what we're doing is the best thing for us
play it safe your whole life, and you'll miss out on life itself
but take risks without consideration for consequences, and you might just die too young

thinking out problems requires analysation and reflection
and taking risks demands gumption paired with just a dose of recklessness
but wherefrom are these qualities found?

i realise there's no time to be shy, no time to be a wimp
if what you're seeking is a fulfilling life
i could be happy just living the simple life
just me, the sky, and my dreams
but dreams alone take you nowhere
at least, they don't in this reality

so what must i do to redeem myself in my own eyes?
steal off into another country and learn independence by surviving on my own?
a step too far, i would think
baby steps first, that's what i need
and someone to hold my hand


it's 2.25 in the morning now
i feel drained
and a little nauseous
or maybe it's just the medication i just took
for the volcano sized ulcer at the junction
where my last molars of my upper and lower jaws meet
i didn't treat it at all the first week i had it
thought that if i ignore it, the sharp, shooting pain will go away
my attitude towards most problems, i admit
and now the pain has spread to the nerves under my jaw, in my cheek, a little ways down my neck
i can't open my mouth, talk, chew, swallow pills, or wet my lips without experiencing pain
i should have confronted the problem as soon as i was faced with it
yet another of my regrets

so i guess this just goes to show
that i am a wimp when it comes to anything
even a simple ulcer

i know, i'm being over-dramatic about an ulcer
but it's just a small part of the big picture
just a simile of what life is like
and an example of what will happen if i trudge on through life
the way i'm doing now
just managing

urghh
it's 2.30
and i wanna lie my head down on the keyboard
and die

but not just yet.

just last saturday i saw the shawn lee commercial again
you know the one
where he's eating the biscuit thingie
whenever i see that commercial,
i just think, oh, it's just shawn lee

BUT...

last saturday, while reading a book in front of the tv
i glanced up during the commercial
and saw a very familiar head, high above shawn's
i looked closer, and it was wee yong!
recognised the almost red colour hairstyle
seriously my first time noticing after having seen that commercial countless times
then i looked to the shortest head, and it was andy!
by then i was laughing hysterically
don't ask me why
even i don't know
but somehow it seemed funny

then a few days after that, i saw the commercial again
and finally looked at the guy in the middle of the back row
it was sheng yu!

again, the hysterical laughter
hmm...
i wonder if anymore ex-bpians are in the commercial...

bored out of my mind
"a murd'rous guilt shows not itself more soon than love that would seem hid: love's night is noon"

i'm BAACCKKK!! hahah

arrived back here just yesterday night
and i was out cold till one this afternoon
so bloody tired
but i did some things i will never ever forget

#1: parasailing!! on my bdae
it was so unbelievable
i was freaked out at first at the idea of hanging up there
alone, storeys above open sea
but i'm glad i did it

pic 1:me, waiting for the boat to pick me up; was really really excited; note: see the huge grin on my face? hahah

pic2:flying in the air... wee! it was near landing time, so i wasn't really as high as i was before. view up there was excellent. was sunset when i went up, so i gazed out at the sky, the sea, the horizon, the dark clouds on the other side, the resorts and shops on the beach, the people on the sand and at the same time, spread my arms up wide and even did superman poses. i laughed by myself and talked to myself. freaky. hahah


pic3: my even freakier landing. i forgot to let go of the parachute which steered me towards land, so i landed hard on the beach, on my back! hahah . see the circled figure on the ground? i nearly flew into thecircled tree. hahah. but i was laughing so hard, i didn't care.

#2: i did become not so shy
made eye contact here and there
not in the itchy way, mind you
at least, not always
hahah
however, i do admit, there was no shortage of eye candy
hahah
this cute bossini guy i "main-ed mata" with
so cute
but but but
all the other itchymats out there were really annoying
"assalamualaikum. tak jawab dosa tau"
eww
and all the other gnarly old non-youths
like, yucks!
nevertheless
great holiday!

hahah
we drove (i mean, the dads, my cousins' and mine) from 2 to 10
straight
only break was for breakfast and prayers

and the pasar malam (night market)
full of nice, interesting fake goods
i bought chanel shades
really cool
i finally know how it feels to see the world through rose-tinted spectacles
or shades, to be more accurate

alot of nice stuff i wanted to buy
like burberry visors
and gucci bags
hahah

anyway, stayed at pulau pinang (the crown jewel) for two night, the 12 and 13
then on the 14 left for malacca
arrived at our hotel at 8 at night
seri malaysia hotel
then the next day (15) left for the legacy hotel cos seri was full
legacy was way nicer
grander too
huge dome in the lobby

so on the 16, we headed for home
drooped by tesco, and the tebrau city in jb
and finally arrived home at 10

felt weird being back
cos in malaysia, i was excited everytime i saw another singaporean car
but being in singapore
felt weird to be excited
cos singapore is full of singaporean license plates
haha

at malacca, my cousins sabrina and diyanah, me and my sister


anyhow, good night :))

while driving along some expressway this afternoon
it rained really, really hard
i'm seriously not kidding
visibility was like, really low

it was hard to drive, you couldn't see the roads at all
and the other cars could only be seen by their taillights

the really cool thing was, other than the really obvious lightning bolts flashing in the sky,
that the other cars (almost all) had a pair of yellow lights flashing at the back of their vehicles
it was like an understanding among drivers
really cool

anyway, today's the day
or the next morning
leaving for penang
supposed to leave before hikmah
but the dads wanted to sleep first
very well

anyway, my birthday's in an hour too!
woohooo!!
sixteen, beybeh!

my 16th year's resolution
is to become good enough at something to make it to the asian games
sounds impossible
oh well

park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan park tae hwan

hehe
can you believe i typed that letter by letter
i'm not obsessed
but he really had caught my eye
*sighs*

farewell
five blissful days of holiday =)

i've said that i watch the doha asian games to oggle at guys
hahah
so far, my favourite event is swimming
because it was most prominently shown every night

and i must say, i'm so, so glad to be female
hahah
the swimmer who's caught my eye the most is park tae hwan
hahah

everytime it's a men's event and he's in it
i'd be chanting "park, park, park"
my favourite swimmer

he's not really what you'd call the typical hansome guy
but he's really cute
i love the way he moves underwater
really graceful, comfortably relaxed movements
and he's 17!
haha

but the clincher for me is his smile
he likes to smile!
and i like people who like to smile
that, coupled with his nicely- placed mole
has got me swooning
hahah

sad thing is, if i'm not wrong,
yesterday was the last day for the swimming events
:'(
hopefull i'm wrong
but if i'm not,
let's have one minute's silence
for the death of my eye-candy opportunity

(and the poor korean guy who died there
an equastrian, i think
poor guy
he had a wife and two kids)

-----*silence*-----

anyway, i hope track and field starts soon
and diving

peace(Y)

u noe, i'm a very shy person
i have no idea what to do when this or that happens
what to do when i meet new people
and how to meet new people

and boys; i'm very afraid of boys (and babies)
haish
what kind of life am i going to lead in the future?

so, i've a new resolve:
to break out of my shell when i go to penang
go crazy
hahah
and learn how to speak to people i dunnoe
make eye contact
and just relax without worrying about other people

________________________________________

AQUALUNG- Strange and Beautiful (I'll Put A Spell On You)

I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart,
I'll see.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see, lyricstop
And you'll realise that you love me.

Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the frist thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep,
I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me.

so prom was GRRRRRREAT!!
heehee

enjoyed it much more than i actually expected
oh, did u noe i was nominee for prom queen?
hahah
shocker man

anyway, i have only three regrets for the entire night
hahah

the first one:
that we got too late to the partying part
because, gosh that was fun
hahah

the second one:
that i didn't take a photo with bounce down
aww
he was standing just metres away alot of times
so wasted

tho i did take a picture with shawn joo
heehee

3rd regret:
should have taken more photos with more people
haish
too bad we were shooed away from ballroom and foyer so early

anyway, it was a fun fun fun night
got daring when we cut the buffet queue
but it wasn't our fault since the girls were taking too long at the front of the buffet
and holding up the entire line, keeping the other part of th ebuffet enpty
so we took plates and started from the centre haha
thank u rashal, for initiating that move:)

anyway, eye candies lived up to the name eye candies
and were yesterday upgraded to eye ben and jerry's
which, u must surely agree, is way better than candy
hahah

i'm so, so sad it ended too soon

prom, prom, prom
i loved it so
everybody was dressed up to the nines, tens and elevens
the love could be felt haha
and i finally noe wat bpians desire most in life...

WORLD PEACE!
heehee

p.s. if u want prom pics, call me
cos i dunnoe how to put here
heheh
and send me ur prom pics too!

oh my word
prom is in two days
and i still haven't got the earrings

and...
i just realised i've lost the whole box of dangling earrings that i treasure so

so sad
but i'm still glad i've got a dress, fishnets, shoes
and a bracelet

oh well
went ice-skating just now
from 12 to 3.45
wasn't quite the "whole-day" bonanza i was planning
yet
it was loads of fun

saw the cute guy from exacly one week ago
from the ice-skating rink
yep, the cute, ice-hockey(i think) guy

hahah
but this time he didn't skate
i saw him sitting down at the benches round the rink
where we saw him last

at least i think it was him...?

hahah
blur me

aarrrggghhh
prom
i've worries bout everything

i noe,
have faith in myself
and wat i wear
and the belief
will translate into confidence
and that will cause me to +radiate+
hahah
:p
i'm just worried that prom won't be the grand affair i've been dreaming of
you know, people not respecting the occasion?
but i'll make it work
yes i will
anyway

good nights all
and good mornings
for all ur lives
for that will lead to a good day
everyday
:))

peace

this morning was the arsenal/bolton football match
and there was one part where fabregas was looking so pissed off
and was up in the referee's face
and this line from twelfth night just popped into my head:

"what a deal of scorn looks beautiful in the contempt and anger of his lips"

haha helooked so dashing
i know
O's are over
but the lines been ringing in my head ever since

u noe, after bolton's second goal
i was devastated
i was thinking, "two down? how is arsenal gonna come back into the game?"
but then gilberto, was it?, scored arsenal's first goal
and i was fine

maybe they'll score another one so they can be even
and so i watched the game into the second half
and i realised, arsenal really play very well
though they flow more cohesively with henry around

and i was super impressed by theo walcott
though he looks like "a squash before tis a peascod"
hahah
super good pace
and determination

arsenal's problem is
that they fumble once they get into the "danger zone"
that is, the area in front of the goal
called the penalty box
(is it? hahah)

anyway, did you know, that my most prominent thought
throughout the first half
was "flow, goddammit! show me some flo'!"
haha
but they flowed better in the second half
and my thought there was," carpe diem"
"just shoot the freakin ball already!"

hahah
but after anelka from bolton scored bolton's third goal
i was distraught
i'm a noisy football spectatot by nature
and when they scored,
i screamed in anguish
hahah
really!
and then i covered my head with my pillow

not even arsenal's gonna be able to come back from this one
down three goals to one?
with only fourteen minutes left on the clock?
without the usual suspects of henry, van persie, gallas, or rosicky?
i hadn't even heard of half the players playing yesterday
senderos? clichy? who are they?

haish...
so i went to sleep without watching the rest of the game
not that i don't have faith in arsenal
i just couldn't bear to see if they lose
and all their sad disappointed faces?
haissh...

and so i slept fitfully
with the twelfth night line
echoing in my head for some reason
hahah

fin:()9

p.s. i've painted the whole doll house
woo hooo
dark green detailing, bold red roof tiles, yellow/green walls outside
and sky blue ones inside
dark wood floors
and black decorations?
hahah
i'm going gothic with this one

i've gone out practically every day of the week
and i'm left wondering: what will i do two weeks from now
when money's all spent
and body's all tired?

hmm
should i laze around the house like i used to do?

no, cos that would be a waste of time
i don't know...
i'll find something

anyway, i bought this construction kit
from IMM
i bought the doll house
and furniture
hahah

too bad the furniture doesn't fit
the important ones, anyway
but it's nice
i completed the house the day my mother brought it home
wasn't easy, though
ill-fitting pieces, wrong-sized holes
too many pieces to make sense of
but it was fun
the next day i completed the furniture

hahah
it's cool
toilet bowl, sink, mirror, bath tub, kitchen, dining table, lounge chair, rocking chair, baby's crib, rocking horse, etc,etc
there's alot

and only the smaller ones fit in the house
but it's nice

i'm planning to paint them
furniture, inside of the house, exterior of the house
even the floors
hahah
nothing better to do, i guess

anyway, i can't wait for next week!
i've found a dress, shoes, fishnet stockings,
and all i need now are earrings, bracelet, and an idea of how to do my hair
hahah

monday, i'm watching casino royale
at suntec city
for free!
and there's even a buffet dinner prepared
hahah
all courtesy of shell

tuesday, i'm going ice-skating! woohoo!
again
with diyanah, sabrina and nadhirah
we're going in the morning till everning
unlimited, baby!

hahah
thursday...
PROM!!!
heehee
what will we do there...


anyway, i'm going off to play neopets
hahah
childish me, i noe
tats :)

ice-skating is fun!!

heheh

just now went with haz
so funn
supposed to meet someone at 3, so we slept at her house after school till 1.20
hahah
then we left early
turns out the person decided not to come
so we went ice-skating!!

weee
so funn
so long since i've skated
fell twice
the second time was so whack
i fell forwards behind this couple
and tripped the guy from behind
and he fell
and landed on top of my leg!

hahah
that's how bad we were at ice-skating
hahah

but it was great
washing our eyes
(eye candy:P)
hahah

such a loner guy
i think haz would have his picture
go check it out at her blog
hahah

we ate instant noodles when the ice was being resurfaced
yumm

anyway, i wanna go again!!
anybody interested, give me a call
hahah C:

so now i begin the daunting task of clearing up all my worksheets and books

but it's hard, you know
so, so hard

i feel so hesitant about throwing away all these notes and worksheets i've slaved over

all these painstaking notes i wrote
again and again
exam after exam
in hopes that i remember them

ahhh....

hard work now useless
since only i can make sense of them

i'll throw them away

OMG!OMG!OMG!

scarcely 26 hours after the last o paper ended
i've found a prom dress

and i've gone ahead and bought it

heehee

i'm so gleeeeeefullll

hahhah

i was so excited about o levels being done yesterday
that i could only fall asleep at 3 am
even then, i woke up again at 6.30 am

hahah

then i shopped at orchard road
went to tangs, full of prom-shoppers
wasn't comfortable there
felt too overwhelmed

then we went to isetan
found a few nice prospects
but decided to move on since much of orchard road was still unexplored

then we went to far east plaza
ka-bam! i found this store
with such super-nice outfits
(shouldn't say wat kind)
(find out yerself:P)

and i tried some on
all were nice!
the one i finally bought is not a typical poofy spaghetti-strapped dress
heheh
shan't reveal wat it is

it's actually quite normal
not typical,
but normal and not eye-popping
but it still is quite nice

the best thing is,
my mother managed to tawar the price from $98
to just $60!!
38 bucks discounted!

all i need now are a pair of the perfect high-heels, earrings and a purse

and nice hair, of course
i'm still working on that, though

prom is in 12 days!!!
woohooo
but it'll be over so soon
boo

heheh, anyway
it'll still be memories that last
the last gift bpghs will offer us
except for o results, o'course

:)) finnnnnnnn!

WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!
"O"s are over!

i'm freeeeee
life is good

breakthroughs are imminent in the future
i'm so full of glee that i'm bursting to scream
but it's nearly 12mn, and i'm considerate, soo...

i still can't believe it
out of the random blue, i'll just start squealing
like a pig, i admit, but with excitement

excitement for the next couple of months being tv-full
homework-free
lazy-full
uniform-free
spending-full
stress-free

heehee
at least, stress-free until the results come out

i'm so sad i missed PRINCESS HOURS!
and i'll have to wait till tomorrow to watch it
and witness Caijing saying "wo ai nie" to Xin
ooooh i can't wait!

just now, straight after the !LAST O LEVEL PAPER!
i changed into my specs
and headed off towards Bugis
where i shopped for stuff at costume costume, concourse, and bugis junction

not alot of prom dresses there
but i did see alot of desirable accessories
which i would have bought had i known what i was coming as for prom
as of yet, i haven't decided,
but i'm leaning towards two easy-to-accessorise impersonations

anyway, i have ard two weeks
so plenty of time
... i hope

saw jodi and her mum merayaping there oso

O's
can go
kiss
shrub's
ass
heheh


anyway, i think i'll go do something else unproductive
i'm too excited, tho tired, to sleep


fin(nish O's!)

(bounce down and i talked)
(wow)
(not uncomfortable)
(heheh)

i'm down with flu!
oh gosh...
and i've been walking around the house like a zombie
groaning every now and then
with mucus driping out of my nose
haha

anyway, i got the flu from syahir in the train on friday
wat bad luck man
the flu, i mean
and i can't concentrate! :(

the LIST! it's super long! (read previous post)

lil' bo *beep*! (heheh)
MIB
james bond
power rangers!!
bride of chucky (wear wedding gear, and bring chucky along)
runaway bride (wedding dress and running shoes!)
pirates of the carribean caharacters (capt. sparrow! weee~)
star wars characters (hayden hot christensen) (princess amidala) (princess leia)
peterpan
robin hood (tights!)
powerpuff girls characters (mojojojo!)
superman and other action heroes (imagine stepping into the room... and ripping the shirt off! haha)
kate and leopold (hugh jackman rox!)
TITANIC!!! (jack! i'm flying! weee~)
cowboys heh
e cartoon where these 3 girls have ponies w/ jewels
catwoman (sexxiii)
ghosts, ghouls, pontianaks, and other un-deads (re-living halloween)
adam's family characters (wednesday! morticia!)
Freddy vs. Jason
scream (white long-faced mask and black hoodie)
rapunzel
belle and beast
cinderella
snow white (bring a red apple, and faint everytime u take a bite)
sleeping beauty (easy! just go there and sleep!)
SHREK!! woohoo! donkey!
ace ventura (big jambul, huge chin, and a pet monkey)
jimmy neutron
the mask (yellow suit, green face, polka-dotted tie)
elvis presley
michael jackson (but then u'd have to cut off your nose...)
pipi longstocking (dun tell me u dun noe her...) (brite orange perpendicular pigtails, freckles)
cow jumped over the moon~ (spoon and fork)
hey arnold! (football head)
rugrats
madeliene
MCR!! (the bassist looks better now)
other distinctive bands
moulin rouge
constantine
the matrix (cool!)
catdog
cow & chicken (seriously? hahah)
puteri gunung ledang
buckingham palace guards (my london bridge wanna go down~))
austin powers (dr eeEvil! mini me!)
devdas
ju-on! (BOO!)
wizard of Oz
telitubbies
kim possible and ron stoppable
harry potter and characters (DRACO!!!)
shaolin showdown
johnny bravo
looney trunes characters
sesame street (big bird heheh)
Hi5 (jub jub)
mummies
cleopatra
indon cinetron characters (TANTE FINA!)
bob e builder
PCK
evenescence (think hot guy from CMWYS vid)
winx
strawberry shortcake
doraemon (huge white front pocket, bell)
superduper sumos
cher
twiggy
audrey and Kat hepburn
oprah winfrey
pride and predujice
madonna (CONE BREASTS!)
paris hilton (simply bring a coconut tree, and gyrate)
horoscopes (mine wld be an archer and centaur! cool!)
art attack (bring clothes and throw here and there artistically)
that '70s show
ABBA
farah fawcett
charlie's angels
bubbleboy (come in a plastic bubble! )
alladin
ali baba
garfield
hello kitty
charlie and e choc factory
white chicks (what a beautiful choc man! ha-HA-ha-ha-ha!)
anime characters
3 musketeers
zorro (imagine: cat zeta-jones beautiful mexican dress)
pussycat dolls (miaow!)
lil' man
big mama's house
spice girls (label yourselves "pepper", "salt", tamarind", etc.)
famous divas (anita sarawak! hahah)
black dahlia fashion
marilyn monroe
marilyn manson
flintstones (BAM! BAM!)
the simpsons (think huge, tall marge afro)
the jetsons family (hi-tech)
tarzan & jane
statue of liberty
statues (u noe, those people painted like statues...)
lil' mermaid
buffy e vampire slayer
eminem (grey hoodie, loose pants, white undies, duck, and bop)
nemo
lilo & stitch
mulan
pink panther
sherlock holmes
samurai X
can can dancers
crazy horse (EEEE!)
las vegas showgirls
legendary malay women (radin mas, danganum, tun fatimah)
kasim selamat! (walk around holding an eyeball, tomato sauce, and a fork)
bujang lapok

ahh... four papers down, twelve more to go...

this morning was our practical exam for chem
and i must say, i feel better about this than i did for biology prac...
and i like bio!
wat a waste...

anyway, we had, like, 4 hours to wile away in the hall in quarantine
cos we were in shift one

i tried to study
honestly, i did!
hahah
managed to write around 2 lines of social studies
and i got tired
hahah

anyway, diana, syaz, inessa, haz and i brainstormed ideas for the prom
just cos it's so interesting to be able to impersonate someone
hahah
anyway, i'll post the whole list on the next entry
they filled nearly a whole page!
some are really silly
and un-work-able
but they're ideas, all the same
hahah
anyway, look above for ideas...^

'O's really suck

hahah

studying for too long gives me headaches,
more white hair than i can handle, backaches
and make me go mad!
hahah

i was studying in the library yesterday.
From 10.00 am all the way to 8.00 pm
10 whole hours
yup, i'm abso-bloody-lutely serious!

imagine if you will, sitting at a table,
full of people you do not know at all (and some were surprisingly annoying),
looking at books you don't really like,
with no one to talk to.
it would make the sanest person just go insane!

Diana did come to study at 12, but she left at 2,
so i was alone for the other eight hours
(thanx for accompanying me, Diana :))


hahah, there were small breaks though;
times when i couldn't stand looking at my books anymore.
oh, and i went to eat a waffle at 7.00pm.
Other than that,
it was all writing writing writing,
and reading reading reading.

This sudden burst of love for studying was borne of my guilt,
my guilt from not studying properly
when i've had the time these last few days.
And here i am, writing an entry...

am i CRAZY??!!
hahah
i just canNOT study at home.
I'm a weak-willed person
who gets easily distracted by all these
electronic spawns-of-the-devil crying out
"Fina, Fina, come watch ME, come play with ME,
leave those boring, word-filled books alone;
you need ME!"

hahah

i'll try to study later
i hope :P

God bless our poor mugging souls
peace (Y)

sy...sya...syar...syaraa...syaraf...
-_-'

hahah
it was uncomfortable when that happened.

so anyways,
haz, diana and i went to the rjc open house today.
not that i was having any delusions about going there.
i just wanted to see what they offered, ya'know...

it was okaay, i guess.
it seemed...nice.
people were, on the whole, a friendly lot.

oh, oH, OH!
guess what happened today?
the person who caught our attention at ri, like, a few months ago
we saw him today
actually, there're three of 'em
hahah
the bell-ringer, the food-server and the broad-shouldered person
hahhah

weird
we were walking through the interchange towards junction 8
and- lo and behold!- we met them at the traffic light
we'd only seen one of 'em at rjc
so it was a surprise to see the other two
we didn't know where the mrt station was, so we kinda... followed them there
hahah
stalkers ^.^
imagine if they had been heading somewhere else

anyways,
they were behind us when we were entering the gates-thingie
when suddenly i heard "sya... syar...syara...syaraf..."
my name was displayed boldly on my bag
i guess this is a consequence of that

what did i do?
i ignored them completely
(like i always do)
and tried to get the hell out of there as quickly as possible
i guess i won't be using that bag again anytime soon...

what's the difference between a caterpillar and a centipede?

i've just finished re-reading my bro's copy of the outsiders
i just love the book, man
emotions were raw, no polished presentation, just the thoughts and feelings of a fourteen-year old greaser

reading that book rought up memories of my other favourite book ever, walk through cold fire
by cin forshay-lunsford
man, i can't believe i lost the book
i really, really loved it
i'd cry every single time i read it

both were about teenage gangs
both were emotionally raw
i love that kind of stories
they get me bawling my eyes out every time
gosh
still can't believe i lost the book
my favourite of all time, hands down

i like kuih bakar berlauk =)

yay! a new skin!
i noe, there's too much going on
but i wanted to fit in alot of stuff

do you see the tom feltons?
hahah
i thot i'd make a tom felton as draco malfoy skin
i also wanted to put a "draco and the malfoys song" but there weren't any on radioblogclub.com
oh well
they're really amusing songs
my fave has to be "my dad is rich"
i also like "broomstick" and "your family is poor"
hahah
funny rite?

btw, the tom felton avatars at the bottom of this page are really funny
you shd read them one by one
i have another one of harry potter singing titanic's theme song
but it didn't fit in with the theme, so...
maybe one day i'll make a skin with a "stupid gryffindors" theme
hahah
or "ron is cute" theme
one day...

i spent sooo much time looking for avatars
initially, i couldn't decide on a colour, so i picked avatars of a great variety of colours
i have one big section on avatars in my file
all colour coded, and in each colour coded file are files in which specific avatars are arranged to fit in nicely with each other
and four files dedicated to draco, harry potter series and funny, merepek avatars
hahah
so organised so suddenly

i spent such alot of time on the skin
i had to make the dimensions fit in
i tried a few possibilities and this was the one which i was most comfortable with

green!
slytherin's colour
one day i'll make blue themed ones, then pink, yellow, grey, red, colourful ones...
hahah
as i said, one day...

...I've got a broomstick better than yours...
...my dad is rich, your dad is dead...
...why did your parents have so many kids when they're poor...
...i am so much better than you cos your family is poor...

i've just returned from mersing
and i'm proud to say that i have finally found an ambition
yay!
hahah
u noe, all my "joking" ambitions in the past were to become a window washer, sweeper, housewife (still is, but hardly an ambition), F1 racecar driver, bus driver, taxi driver, etc..

the only ambitions of which my parent wld approve are to be a physiotherapists (i dropped that idea... i'd have to touch smelly feet)
and a journalist (so much work, i'd need to be street-smart [i'm not])
and i've lost interest in that

i still want to be a photographer
but it'd be hard to get rich from that

so, back to the ambition i've found...
u noe
i like to stay at hotels
just the thought of someone cleaning up the room for you is nice
and i like the 24/7 air-con they provide
so i noe quite alot about hotels, from no-star to 4/5-star
no two stays are ever the same

mersing quite lacks quality hotels
or even small cozy ones for that matter
so i thought i'd open up a bed-&-breakfast
nothing extravagant, just something small-scale
14 rooms, three-four stories high, back porch with swing facing the sea, cozy, country cottage design inside, etc...
and i'm serious about it
i've begun planning, roped in a partner, a food supervisor...hahah

but i really am serious about it
this bed&breakfast would be my dream hotel
i'm modelling it abit like the now-closed-down Merlin Hotel in Cameron Highlands
that hotel was great, man
the first ever hotel in C highlands, it had high ceilings, a balcony for every room overlooking a beautifully tended gardenrich with colours of spring and a lush green golf course. The only thing i didn't like about it was that outside the rooms, and lobby, the corridor was like any old hotel...

and the room had proper furnishing
however, my bed&breakfast would have something extra
the bathrooms would have bathtubs, but not the ones cemented onto the ground, no
i'd have the claw-footed bathtubs
and satellite television
a tv room where an assortment of dvds would be available for the guests' viewing pleasure
and the breakfast would be all western, with some malay kueh

I WANT TO BEGIN THE HOTEL NOW!!!
but i can't, so i'm waiting at least ten years before i start
my brother's gonna be a banker, so i'd have some connections in the bank
getting my start-up loan would be easy

hahah
i'm getting out of hand here...
anyway, my half hour break from history is nearly over
so off i go...
come stay at my hotel in the future!
i swear it'd be the best in mersing! :)

long ago (well, up till sec 2)
i used to read, and re-read the harry potter series
cos it was so nice
and i had time to kill, and i didn't frequent libraries that much
every time i read it, a new detail would pop out at me
something i'd perhaps missed the last couple of times i'd read it
or mayhap had forgotten

how i missed those times
the 6th instalment of the series... well, i'd read it only once
yes, of course, shame on me
so i started to read it again yesterday
and now it's done

a new revelation (me: yay!)
well, the first time i read it, i did not read it as closely and attentively as i should have,
seeing as the book is that kind of book that warrants attentiveness to detail

in my haste to get the story over and done with,
to find out what the ending was,
and then to be able to rest my weary eyes
(it was 2 am when i reached the last chapter)
i had overlooked important stitches in the fabric which was the story

i had thought that harry was a twat!
for some reason, that was the impression i had when i finished reading that book the first time
and now i don't know why
and since i'll never find out why i had that thought,
i'll move on to another matter

u noe, i always try my utmost best to distinguish the draco in the book from the draco in the movies
recently, that became quite a chore when i started to read romantic spin-offs on draco malfoy, done by other people and such, on quizilla.com
they described draco malfoy as he was on film
and i found myself caught up in the little fantasies these people weaved
which was partly why i decided to re-read the 6th instalment
to get my thoughts on draco back into perspective

and i realised, that all these little fantasies of draco malfoy
are based on tom felton's portrayal of draco malfoy
hot as tom is, he is not draco malfoy
draco malfoy is a teenage boy with a pale, pointed face and white-blond hair
never, though i could be mistaken, have i read that draco was handsome
i have read that he was tall, but that and the blond hair, could be the only similarity between the real draco and the one on film

when i began re-reading the 6th book, i tried to do so without any prejudice or bias against the characters
and i actually felt sympathy for lord voldemort (though that twinge was gone almost instantly)
draco malfoy, though portrayed as a "foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach" in previous books, had actually shown his sensitive side in this book
his crying in the toilet, and his reluctance to kill dumbledore actually made his character an appealing one
his character has depth, and layers, and that is probably why, at this moment, he's my favourite character

there are alot of things i'm griping about with the writers of quizilla
other than the rose-tinted view of draco malfoy
but, of course, they are not that actual writers, and they can make their stories whichever way they want to
but, sometimes, it does get abit too grating on my nerves

like blaise zabini, who is popularly described as someone tall, handsome with brown hair and who is nice to harry's trio (or foursome, if u count ginny)
in actual reality (meaning in the book) he's actually a haughty dude who is hardly friendly towards the three/foursome
i don't think he's supposed to be a brunette... he is "a tall black boy with high cheekbones and long, slanting eyes"
probably handsome, but not in the way supposed by most quizilla writers
(draco's association with blaise does show draco in an almost positive light; he's not racist, just anti-muggle-born)

and then there is the spelling
there's the frequent mistake between "you're" and "your"
which annoys me to great heights
and spelling lucius as luscious makes me want to gag
as humans, it is inevitable that we err
but come on, at least learn the difference between "your" and "you're"
one is relative to "mine" while the other is just a shortened form of "you are"

well, i guess i'm done for today
i's a miracle if someone has read to this point
and for that person, i say congrats for making it this far
i appreciate it

till next time, then
toodles

p.s. dumbledore died! (crying:waaaaaahhhh!)