post OBS

more than a week since obs...

post obs depression ah...


hahah... but i feel great...



of course lah, there are moments where i'm wishing i was back in obs

i remember the good times there

but it's back to reality, baby

and i must say,

i'm handling reality quite well

no thoughts about suicide yet

but maybe by next year... (KIDDING!!! u noe me. i love life too much :D)



today was the celebration for teacher's day

i like the item put up by the 202 chiminals '03

interesting

and the dedications

yea

those were funny

especially the part about mr osgodby

"...what's so shocking??..."

or something like that lah



the food delight

i never really saw what the teachers had been given to eat

this year i couldn't care less

i got mixed reactions about my meringue

some people say it's too sweet (hazwani even gagged! i felt so sad!)

but some people liked it

i saw someone trying to run away with the whole tupperware

and i saw someone who actually did run away with it

hahah

syahir, syahir...

hahah

he even ordered 100 pieces from me

costs $20.00/-

heheh

by friday

anybody else wanna order, just give me a holler:)



anyway, the horoscope thing

in school, about the teachers,

were interesting

but sagittarius was said to be over-confident

i mean, come on

me, over-confident??

hahah...

sometimes i think i have too little self-esteem

but i can be over-confident lah

but only when i'm doing something i'm very good at, lah

like...um...

i dun think there's anything i'm particularly good at...

oh well... hahah



i think i'm giving up

don't ask me why

the odds are against me

the stakes are too high



it's too far away

too much out of reach

he belongs to someone else

to some other BITCH! (again, KIDDING!!!

i don't harbour any ill feeling towards either of them. REALLY.)



hahah

i just love to joke, don't I?

<3feeena>

Sagittarius

November 21 to December 20



Primary Characteristics



* Affectionate

* Honest



Positive Personality Traits



* Honest and straightforward

* Intellectual and philosophical

* Jovial and good-humored

* Optimistic and freedom-loving



Dangers



* Can be blindly optimistic and careless

* May be irresponsible and superficial

* May become restless

* Sometimes tactless

obs

i love obs!!!

u noe, i like things i'm good at
and this camp, i found some things i'm good at
so i like them
and liking these things
have made me LOVE OBS!!!
wat a theory!

heheh
but really
i remember back in spark-c, i hated rock-climbing
because i barely made it to the middle of the rock wall
but this time
i made it up to the top
and quite fast, too :)
i love rock-climbing!

and i love kayaking!!!
same situation, too
i can go at a moderate speed
i love it!!

and i love my watch!!
nice people!!
great people!
nobody aksyen inside!!
hahah... that was my main worry


there were quite a few incidents in obs that are very memorable
such as the sea expedition
we were delayed for two hours
set off late because of cat 1 weather (category 1: lightning risk, so on)
when we did leave camp 3, it was drizzling abit
current was quite strong ( itwas strong all the way)
(and raining all the way)

had our lunch only one hour behind schedule
and made it back, washed and kept the boats,
retrieved the bags
all on time
yea, so i'm pretty proud about that
hehe

and the night before that was blissful (discounting all the mosquitos)
we had sentry duty at night to watch the kayaks
all i did was go out to the gate to the beach at the designated time
sat down on a poncho laid on the ground
relaxed under the stars
looked at the bright lights across the channel at johor
listened to the music coming from there (quite loud also leh)
and thought about life
my philosophies
how i'm living it
how to make it better
how to make me better as a person

wow
so philosophical
hahah
but some friends say i think alot
which i do
especially when i'm really quiet and staring off into space
hahah

anyway
one of the perks of obs was missing school
the other was being around friends for a week
third was being around someone for a week
ahahah
what an added benefit

but of course, all these great bonuses don't come without a disadvantage
i finally knew
who he was with
and that started me thinking
(again)
what am i doing?
waiting around?
i don't need no man to keep me happy
which made me think of a song
cinderella by tata young

:: When I was just a little girl

My momma used to tuck me into bed and she read me a story

It always was about a Princess in distress

And how a guy would save her and end up with the glory

I'd lie in bed and think about the person that I wanted to be

Then one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me

I don't wanna be like Cinderella

Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar

Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free

I don't wanna be like Snow White waiting

For a handsome prince to come and save me

On a horse of white, unless we're riding side by side

Don't want to depend on no-one else

I'd rather rescue myself

Someday I'm gonna find someone who wants my soul, heart and mind

Who's not afraid to show that he loves me

Somebody who will understand

I'm happy just the way I am

Don't need nobody taking care of me

I will be there for him

just as strong

as he will be there for me

When I give myself then it has got to be, an equal thing

I can slay

my own dragon

I can dream

my own dreams

My knight in shining armour is me

So I'm gonna set me free ::

quite meaningful lyrics, aye?
heheh

i am woman, hear me roar
<3 feeena

camp

i'm still undergoing preparations for camp... so scared!!!

but it's a good scared... it's like, more nervous, actually...
what if i forget to bring something really important?
like... like... underwear!!!
or... maybe... clothes!!!

inspire... expire... inspire... expire...

ok, calmed down... but i'm still kinda nervous

i don't really know who's in my watch
except rai (or hana, as i call her)
stephanie
hafizah
this gal named si hui or sth
and another chinese gal i dunnoe

but i'm determined to forge ahead
looking for new adventures
and friends

hahah... sounds like something johnny quest would say

i'm bringing 6 tee shirts... didn't think 4 wld be enough
+ 1 long sleeved
+ sleeves (black)
+ 3 long pants (as stated)
+ a whole bunch of other stuff you don't need to know

the only thing i haven't bought is the solid fuel tablets
don't really know where to find them...
searched jurong point yesterday for sarah and irna's stuff
then went to the neighbourhood shops to look for my fuel thingie
all the shopkeepers asked had absoluely no idea what it was

haiz... aniwayy
did u hear? we're supposed to go to school wearing pe shorts
but i'm not gonna do that
i'll wear a skirt
then keep it in my locker

whoo... can't wait for camp
heehee :)

<3 feeena

shop, shop, shop, merajukk!!!

heyy all

went shopping todae
i like to shop
retail therapy
and nice stuff to see

aaniway, i went shopping for my camp stuff
bought the sticker mosquito repellent
nice
i'm wearing it right now
kinda smells, but it's not that strong nor unpleasant

and i bought this roll-on thingie that's supposed to help me not sweat.
i've been meaning to buy it for months
and i've finally bought it
all for the sake of camping, of course.
i don't want to be hot and sweaty and smell there.
not where there'd be almost everybody from sec 3 there.

aand, i bought sun block!
we actually have anpther bottle at home.
but this one's better
this one is spf 130!
the one we have is only spf 30
so i managed to coerce my parents into buying it.

you know, i've managed to coerce people into doing alot of things.
goes with my personality, i guess.
being an IS and all.

but, my shopping trips with my parents usually end with either me or my sister sulking
i know, i know.
what brats.
heheh
it comes with being the youger two girls.
the only two girls, in fact.
but i've stopped this years ago.
this time, my sister sulked.
about not being allowed to buy a dryfast tee.
i wanted one too.
tried to persuade my parents into buying me at least one.
didn't manage it, so i stopped there.

can't wait for camp.
no school for one week

no teevee for one week

no home work for one week

no radio for one week

no parents for one week

no parents for one week

i guess i am going to miss my parents
i am, what they call, manja
i guess that's quite obvious.
what other parents would go all the way to kallang theatre
just to send a ticket which their child has forgotten?
quite a few.
but because my parents were willing to do that
i'm grateful
luv u, mama and abah


feeena

to not breathe

you know, sometimes i find it easy just to stop breathing...
life seems to be on a standstill
it just comes naturally
sometimes, i stop breathing without even knowing it; and only when i absolutely need air do i start breathing again
you should try it sometime
it's relaxing
it makes you focus more on what is important in life
don't ask me how it helps
it just does

there. i just did it again
sometimes breathing is such hard work
i find it easier to not breathe

and when i die, i wld have already gotten used to not breathing

*fin`land

hurdle hurdle

ok ok... i admit...
i am actually a leetle teeny weeny bit peeved that he's taken...
but so what?
what can i do about it?
nothing rite?

yup. that's what i thought...
aaaniway... i have more pressing matters on my mind...
for one, common test is next week! and add math is on monday!!
i'm gonna go crazy!!!

i'm so proud i wrote something in malay to relay my feelings... it sounds nice, to me. of course, i couldn't have done it w/o syaz's help. thx syaz =) here it is :

betapa sedih hatiku berasa
mukaku dibasahi air mata cinta
gundah-gulana, jiwaku meronta
akhirnya ku dapati kisah yang sebenar

rupa-rupanya dia sudah berpunya...

quite nice rite? no? heheh... well, i think it is... and that's that...

well, today was an ok day... except for the fact that he passed by me while he was going up the stairs... and i the opposite way... i think our shirtsleeves touched for a moment there... OOOHH!!! electricity!!! heheh... joke...=)

after school my father fetched me to cck stadium... where the closing ceremony for the 29th annual ASEAN youth championships... and where our school military band was performing...

will wonders never cease... i actually did some homework there! heheh... my dad and i were sitting rite at the top... except for an ahlete from indonesia, i think... who was sitting next to me... prolly cause the view there is the best...

then my mother came... we watched... spore did great... we got a 2nd for the 4x400 relay... jonah tried... but too far to catch up i guess... anyway, GREAT JOB!

saw the band... saw tipah and sarah and irna and some peeps i noe... nice... i cheered! heheh...

after all that, went to lot 1 to eat (before i saw many people taking photos of the ever-so-famous hurdler)(who else lah) the service at let's eat was atrocious! ahahah... but i got even... by being impolite without them realising... being the callous baboons they are, the of course do not know that elbows on the table are impolite (which i did) (they were, too) and of course they didn't know that you're not supposed to show the cut portion of your food to people... and i did it pointedly... and they didn't know...how typical... =) i'm not actually that bothered...

bought lianhe zaobao... there was my bro's photo... and straits times home section... there he was... and he was there yesterday too... and in the news on tuesday... and last week's chinese newspaper... last week in home section he was interviewed... seems he has dominated the local track and field news... heheh

anyway...i guess that's about it for now... i'm planning on finishing my history essay (due last week)

finLAND

( did i mention my bro fell yesterday? yea, he did it when he was lunging forward... and just a few weeks ago we'd laughed at this guy who fell wen lunging)

yesterday was fun!!!

even though i had to sit at a table full of people i didn noe... not to mention that they're all ex-BPians, male and chinese ( except for miss lee-teacher-of-dance)(she's female)

almost every course i and anum disappeared to another table... then we realized that it was rude, so we sat there... until they all left, then we left too...

I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAD A HANDBAG!!! AND I WORE RELATIVELY HIGH HEELS!!! OMG!!! SOMEBODY GET AN AMBULANCE! I'M GONNA FAINT!!!
heheh... a bit too dramatic, dont u think? ;)

it was ok lah... they guys tried to include us sometimes... e one next to me was nice... he helped me take some herbal chicken!! without me even asking!! so sweet:) ahahah.. alas, i couldn see who he was cos he was next to me...
oh yah, yu hao or sth (the chinese opera guy) was at my table oso

dishes were ok...was so full at the end... so was everybody else... we left the last dish almost untouched....

so sad... when SM Goh gave a speech nobody paid any attention... i wonder how he must feel... such a distinguished guest comes, and nobody pays attention...

we all walked to the MRT st. after that... i noe lah, i was abit annoying with the cake... too drunk on coca-cola, i guess. heheh....

dropped off at marsiling with faj... so scary... alot of foreign workers around... and i was walking home alone!! and, guess what? when i took a taxi with syaz, the taxi driver said i looked like a tanned china girl!! and atikah said i looked like a tanned vietnamese girl!! and i was wearing heels!!!! DANGER! DANGER!!! and what more, i had no hp with me!!! and i was carrying a handbag!!! fortunately, nth happened... heheh (i was playing up the scenario abit)

guess who was there at the dinner??!! bounce up!!! resplendent in light blue!!! he is so smart! he understood the concept of smart casual! other people wore shorts and t-shirts... so embarassing...

heheh...

<3 fin :):):):):):):):):):):):) d^.^b

45th anniversary today!!! aaaaargghh!!!!
i'm in a frenzy over what to wear!!!!

what i mean is, how smart is smart and how casual is casual in 'smart casual'??

andi'm going to cut my hair in another...umm...25 minutes!!!

alone!!! i've never gone alone before!!! aaaaargghhh!!!!

i'm a lousy dancer... eh, wait, i can't call myself a lousy dancer, cause i'm not a dancer...

yesterday was the full dress rehearsal... miss, eh, sorri, mdm rozi said that the principal called us lousy... and everybody thinks that too... haish...

they know we're all rookies... especially for a kaku girl like me... they shd be givin encouragement sey... not putting us down...

but i'm goin to show them... we're goin to practise until it's perfect, then we're gonna steall the limelight... you know why? it's because although we dance for a short while, we make a big impact cos we're bright pink, we're there continuously for that short amount of time we're there, and we'll be dancing infront of the VIPs... the rest are in dark colours, will be goin in and out so there's no focus, and we're gonna outshine them.... mwa-ha-ha!!!

aaaaaniway, what the principal supposedly said put me into a glum mood... my eyes teared up w/o rhyme or reason... but, when i got to Lot 1, i cheered up! yay!! probably because of the bright lights... hahah

then syaz and i went up, and down, the bought bubble tea, went home....

so that's about it... i know i can dance. i know i can. heheh, well, i hope i can.

`bounce up9086838

today is monday, the youth day school holiday...
and i'm going to the beach!
i noe, i noe, i 'm dark enuff...

but i don't care!!!

i wanna cycle...

i wanna swim... in the beautiful brown sea with all the plastic bags and water bottles and pee...

and i wanna build sandcastles!!!


hahah... i'm abit siao today...

`play ball9086838

you noe, i've just realized that i hardly ever mention bounce up in my blog entries... this one more low-key than others...heheh... he's my big (not little) secret (cos a few people noe mah)

anyway, i'm still reeling from the strain of yesterday's performance and orals... i kinda like performing... i want more! heheh... and i might just take haiguang up on his offer... heheh... imagine me, a humble, simple girl, with a single out in the market... who would want to buy? you tell me...

now that i've realised that i don't mention bounce up alot, i'll describe him here...here goes nothing...

:: he has such a wonderful smile that can melt my heart...(awww!)
:: he's such a nice guy (don't ask me how i noe... ask tipah and sarah)
:: he has a wonderful physique... not that it matters, but it's an added bonus
:: i should just stop here... if not people might guess.... hehe

i'm having a sore throat, an aftershock from yesterday... and i have diarrhoea! where did THAT come from??!!

heheh, anyway, i'll stop here... oh yah. the other day i went to library with syaz and atikah... found this marriage book which had this compatibilty test where they test whether a girl and a guy are good together (useful for arranged marriages last time)... i did all three ways shown and guess what?

ALL THREE STATE THAT WE"RE DOOMED!!!! hehe... yup. that's about it
fin=)

`play ball9086838

bummer

haiz...

another round of BPian idol... still very disappointed...
nevertheless, the experience was great, and now i'm all geared up for singapore idol!!

heheh... i noe. not funny. but still, i need a little pick-me-up. after the idol thing i had malay o-level oral... followed by english oral... they were all okay, i still can't speak malay, and i was offered a record deal.

Hah! bet you didn't see that comin, did ya? actually hai guang said something about me recording a single. of courselah, i kembang. i needed a compliment, u noe? after such a taxing idol experience (for the second time, i might add! and yet i didn't win again).

i finally wore something nice. although one of the judges did comment on my choice of footwear. can you imagine?! of all things to comment on (such as my voice quality, performance, etc, etc), she decided to comment on my slippers. they were quite nice u noe. mata rabun ah her.

some problems with my singing. i dunno. i keep getting mixed answers. like microphone too loud, song played too loud, my not being able to move around onstage because of being held back by the microphone stand.

nevermind lah. i'm so tired of this. performing was exhilarating even though my voice was shaking.

from my vantage view point behind the curtains onstage, i cld see HIM! yes! the bounce up him! so nice. i can just look out and there he is in the audience. but during my performance i didn't dare look at him. scared to see. later too nervous.

anyway, i was kinda afraid that someone in specific wld win. wat if he were to represent our school in the cluster idols? hisham even said that if he won, they were all going to bantai him. heheh. i feel so bad.

and i heard what some people in the audience said about me. wat did they mean by "menyampah! pakai baju pink konon. action arh tu". hello! pink clothes mean i'm action meh? wat if i liked pink ?(which i don't) who are you to judge my character from the colour of the clothes i wear?

i may seem a little bit like shooting my mouth off here. i'm just letting off steam. oral so stress. haish. anyway, i'm stopping here for today. this the chronicles of the alien chocolate girl, signing off.

(so lame! )

wow... it's been almost two months since i've last blogged...
a lot has happened since then... for one, i have only one failure for the mid-year examinations...(only a-maths... yay!) but my results are worse over-all...

i'm gonna be performing at the 45th anniversary...so happy!

umm, my brother flew to germany to run... so far, all i know is that in 100m he got a third (and it's not even his niche sport!) and now he's in switzerland to run... i am so jealous!!!

aaaniway, while my brother was galivanting through europe, my family and i went to genting
I LOVE GENTING!!! it's so cold and nice and though it's june, there was so much "kabus"... i think fog or something lah...
and i rode a rollercoaster! or, more specifically, a flying coaster.. it's like the yakult something flyer at escape themepark.. only you go through the whole rollercoaster thing...

so far i've done, let me see.... NO hw at all! i'm so lazy!

nowadays i am addicted to shopping... nothing can cheer me up better than going to stores and looking at nice stuff... provided that i can buy them lah... right now i'm trying to wrangle my father into buying me a creative zen neeeon mp3 player (is that the name>) of course, i'm the one that's paying lah... $2.40 every week for 4 years... (imagine that... by the time i finish paying i'll be 19!)

after this i'm going to the library to borrow books.... then i'm going MP3 shopping! yeay!!!

ciao, adios, au revoir, bon voyage (??) heheh
fin

green house ___ R.I.P.

i'm GREEN, i can run, i can win, i am strong... - taufik dah basah

friday was the sports day
how do you think green house did? heheh
but it's ok. i had fun cheering for green ( when they did appear in a race)
we won some silvers and bronzes.

both bounce up and down ran. who are they? find me and ask me!
bounce down ran ok, bounce up ran slow.
doesn't matter. bounce up was still smiling after that race. heheh.
such a nice smile!

i screamed (actually shouting. with my voice i can't scream)
like hell yesterday.
i have a sore throat yesterday.
i have it every year after sports day
even during primary school.

band was soft but okay. couldn't see what formation.
it's ok. try harder to play while marching! hehe

tipah said she cld see me and syaz clearly.
must be because i'm so prominent! heheh

ummairah was beside me.
must have been she who influenced me to act so crazy.
heheh...

during the prize giving we didn't have much to cheer for
cos we didn't win much.
so green house cheered for the football team on the pitch.
when there was a goal, they cheered.
when someone missed, they sympathised.
so rude.
but i have to admit, i was one of them.
heheh.
tom chan even warned us to participate in the sports day
or we wld have to go home at 6 pm.
after that we shushed up wheneverthere was a goal
and clapped for the winners
altho i cldn't see them cos the blue house supporters
came all the way from their hideyhole
and blocked our view by standing in our line of vision

what fun.
eye candy all day long! :)

feeeena

nice, nice dream...

last week i had the best dream ever... i still feel like smilling everytime i think about that dream...

usually u forget wat u dream about when u wake up... in this case, i forgot some things... but i did remember the important parts... albeit abit vague... hahah :)

i don't think i wanna say what my dream was... it's a bit embarrassing... hahah... mebe one day i'll tell... but not now...

haish... school holidays are nearly over...and i haven't done a single homework... i don really care right now... hahah... i know i'll regret that attitude later... when i'll be stying awake all night to finish them all... hahah... school holidays are too short...

only 4 more years till i go to uni... i wanna go somewhere with a different temperature... hahha... maybe new york? sydney? i dunnoe... just somewhere far...

mebe i'll go to london... then i'll just take the train from london to paris whenever i feel like it... haha...

what i really wanna do is stay in the most scenic places around the world... that's why i wanna be rich... to bolster my dream... hahah...

i sudden;y feel like having ice-cream...

<3 fin

i don't feel like much

i'm getting glum-er and glum-er by the day. all because of sth that happened on saturday. WARNING! i'm not gonna hold back my words, so better be prepared ah... i don't mean that i'm gonna start swearing a blue streak or anything:>



On saturday supposed to meet tipah and sarah at marsiling station... then i sms them that i come abit later and will they please wait awhile? so i came and i sat down. and waited and waited and waited. i felt so stupid u noe... letting alot of trains go by... and i heard that if u've sat there for a certain amount of time they will ask u to leave.... so i go cck.... mebe they waiting there or something. then i go, cannot find them... i called tipah hp, but engaged. i didn noe wat to do, so i called my parents even tho we had just had a quarrel to let me out of the house. aranged to meet them a causeway point... then i sit at library alone and waited lah...



on monday when i asked them about it they were so flippant. how do you think i felt? they didn even haf the courtesy to sms me back. i had felt so hurt/ felt like crying so many times... then i just keep quietlah... i wouldn dare ask them abt it again...they'd probably wonder what the big deal was and think i was overly sensitive... then i saw the neoprint they took with atikah anum they all...



right now i think that if i were gone oso they wldn notice. feels so much like primary school rite now. i hated life in primary scool. i had no friends, no life, i had nothing. couldn't wait to graduate. the dreaded feeling's come back. i hate that feeling. it's like i've got nothing to live for.



i've run out of steam. dunnoe wat to type anymore. i think i'll stop here now.

i love school! for once!

so, one week of school has passed...
i'm happy with my class... it's my kind of class...
it's so slack... hahah... we're so far behind school work... but the teachers are good...
i've gotta keep an open mind about all the subjects... can't say "i hate this subect"...
must study as hard as i can... which is not that hard lah.. haah...
my history and literature classes are with a certain someone i dun wanna say...
but i'm a leeeetle bit happy...heheh...

monday, i think, got maths test... haish... u noe i suck rite? so i gotta study harder than ever...
eeesh.... my algebra sucks... i think i gotta start from scratch... haha

i look more mature than last year... which is good... cos i'm in upper sec!!!
so hard to believe!!! and i'm joining malay dance!!! even harder to believe... hahah
i'm soooo not the gentle type....heheh... but my mother used to be an expert malay dancer...
so maybe i got it in me... hu noes?...

my father wants me to join track and field... but how can? i'm plump!
and i can't really stand the teacher... but if i could, i'd wanna learn javelin...
my father say i surely got potential one... cos of my bro mah... eeesh,,,

+fin

i've just realised that we're very very small people. i mean, not just us, the entire singaporean population. give or take the few abnormal ones. not that abnormal isn't good. in this case, it is.

anyway, i was watching tee-vee when BAM! it hit me. when we(i mean, mostly me) look at white people, i can't tell their age. it's impossible to compare them to asian standards. for example, i was thinking of fantasia. i would neve have known she was still 19 or twenty when i looked at her. she looks at least 24.

and me.
i look too young. my family (minus the ever-absent brother) and i went to a restaurant at the berjaya times square hotel. quite posh, actually. around RM65 per adult for the buffet alone. minus the drinks. RM35 for children below 12. we went there to celebrate my FOURTEENTH birthday. and guess what.
when we looked at the receipt, it seemed that they'd charge me RM35. which means they see me as a kid. below 12. not good.

i don't think i look 12. do you? and worse. BELOW 12. worse than looking 12. means they see me as an adolescent. and which bay would use that word, huh?

hahah. i'm getting into such a huff over such a small matter. i mean, it's not such a big deal, is it, if people see you as an 11 year old when you're a good 3 years older than that. HUMPH!

hee hee hee. :>

syarafeeena`__

new blog book...only 1 chap but nice

yaaaaayy!!! just found out today that my brother had wonthe bronze medal in the commonwealth youth games with a time of 14.83 sec. It wasn't his personal best. too bad. if it had been, he would have won gold. the gold medalist was from south africa and the silver from britain. woow! imagine if he had won... so good!

he said that he tripped over one hurdle. if not he would have won oredi... haish... nevermind... next time can try again...

aniway, yesterday afternoon, my primary school higher mother tongue classmates came for hari raya. I hid in the toilet. u noe why? cos we never really clicked. all so minah-minah. and u noe i am so obviously not, rite? hahah. in primary school oso i was an outcast in hmt class... i dunoe how to layan and talk like they do. haish. and got people i dunnoe summore.... i spoke little... didn't talk to them...

haish... if only i'm not so cautious. in pri school, i was painfully shy... cannot really communicate with them lah... and not so spontaneous. haish.... if only i could have changed that....

my cousin moving to australia... so lucky!!! if only they can adopt me so i can follow them there!... hahah... just wistful thinking of mine...

u noe the "in" thing now is blog books, rite? i found a great blog... only one chapter lah, but the story is my type! i think it's about love lost when she was 14...wow! my age! anyway, here's the site http://young-hearts.blogspot.com
the starting really nice...and got nice poem i think by the author...
so cheap... read the book for free! hahah....

love
<3 fin+

wow!

yesterday night, i had a verry strange and weird and scary dream. I dreamt that my mother had died. It was damn freaky sia. Then i dreamt that i had to stay in this room with a huge group of other people and there was this cupboard smack in the middle of the room. One side of the cupboard was really a cupboard and the other side, the top half, it held my mothers remains which ahd been cut up and kept into small wooden boxes. Then i started crying.

Then i was walking home with a friend from marsiling st when i saw my mother. only she didn look like my mother. she wasn wearing tudung and she was pale and was wearing her pale grey sweater and she was sitting down with my auntie. Then she gave me a gift. a malay assessment book to practice my malay vocab. and we said goodbye.

Then i met my father along some road, which lookied suspiciously like the great wall of china, then i showed him the book. it was green. my father wouldn believe me that my mother's ghost had brought me the book.then i cried and said it was true and all that. and as we walked home, i was thinking that i couldn't go on that way, without a mother.

then i woke up with a start and started crying. i mumbling to myself over and over again that i love my mother. and i kept on crying.


the dream was so weird, it had seemed so real. even now, i feel really freakeds out and scared.

fin+