Isn't it sad that less than a month into uni, I already know this is just another one of those things in which I will not do well? The other two were... oh, let's see, secondary school and JC. But this is worse, because they don't "spoon-feed" us. I like to think, but never critically. So when all they do is ask questions, that leave me looking at just a question mark, it's perfectly understandable for me to be worried. I want answers. When I was in secondary school and JC, I could barely do well even when I was being given answers. So how in the world am I expected to succeed here?

This comes after two days that have included three tutorials and two lectures (well, I haven't watched the third one), in which I find my interest waning during lectures, and being rendered speechless in tutorials. Especially HS 103. I doubt anyone from that class except perhaps Pat will be reading this, but I apologise anyways, because the class is seriously dead. Every facet, not just the topic. I could feel my brain cells floating up with all the question marks nobody's bothered to answer, and wither sadly in the air. Pat and I have made a pact to speak up in every single tutorial, so of course we said something each. Beyond that, however, I could feel no comprehension nor stimulation happening in this thick skull of mine. Eoteoke?

Well, perhaps in anticipation of needing consolation at the end of today, yesterday Pat and I had planned to watch UP! today. And our new friend Jennifer came along too. UP! rocks! Like, seriously! I know it's just a cartoon, but it was so sad I could count at least four different occasions during the movie when I cried. Not shed a tear, but cried. It's not supposed to be a sad movie. In fact, it was downright hilarious at most parts. Perfect comedic timing and all. But the parts that were there to invoke sympathy just left me bawling my eyes out. PMS; don't worry about it. But even without PMS I would probably have shed tears, because the scenes and music were designed to break your heart without needing much dialogue. UP! is definitely a must watch for anyone - funny parts for the kids, funny and sad parts for babies like me. <3<3

Yesterday, at Syaz's invitation, Diana and I attended NUS' Malay Language Society's Iftar, which means "eat" in my understanding (lol). Saw many familiar faces from BP, as well as older brother's friends. Plus, my cousin attended too. Seriously though, how much ulu can NTU get? I realised that the appropriate answer is: A LOT. Because I took one and a half hours to get from that function room in NUS to my hostel bus stop. And Boon Lay isn't even that far from Clementi! I arrived at the hostel at 11, to find water everywhere because apparently there'd been a water fight with pails of water. Glad I missed it haha! (Shyness is such a bane T_T)

And so here ends my rant against my own state of "lack". There will be more, rest assured - I was born this way, and will probably remain this way forever, so there'll be plenty more reasons for me to complain about myself.

G'night!

fina

i am so ashamed of bukit panjang government high school students
particularly those in the malay dance cca

i know, i was from that cca
but it seems an incredible lack of disregard and respect for others has risen in these girls

what am i talking about?

i was at bp on saturday with syaz to help choreograph and teach malay dance steps to these girls
so that they can perform it with the band for this year's band syf
and on saturday, they decided to have an extra practice on sunday (today)
so that those who can't make it during the week can learn the dance

and so, forsaking the sanctity of sunday as our rest day, syaz and i agreed to come today
and meet the girls at 10 am

and we arrived on time
nobody was there

we thought," okay, typical of secondary school peeps
we'll just wait a while longer while we have breakfast"

10.20: still nobody shows up
we were getting irritated by this point

finally, around 10.30 or so, one girl shows up
the one in charge of the thing
the only one who bothered to come

(by this time, although my facial expression just showed placidness
in my head, i was thinking "^@&#%?! %#&@*#!!!!!")

we waited for a while more
beyond 10.45 am
and just decided to teach the steps to the one girl
who will teach it to the rest over the week
before the trip to hwa chong on saturday to practice

where i'm supposed to be present
(actually, they wanted us to come on every day that they have a practice this week
but we put our foot down at that)

and now i don't feel like going
and i don't feel like telling them that i'm not coming
just to give them a taste of their own medicine

but i can't
because i'm not that type of person
(yet; i may start working on it, just to learn to assert my authority)

hummppphhhh
all i get out of this are cip hours
other schools hire choreographers
and pay them
and although their piece isn't very long
only like, eight eights or something
(I know, pathetic right)
at least give us the respect we deserve for taking time out of our busy schedules
and our a level preparatons to come and do this

lake placid is boiling over

(sorry it's another complaint-ridden post;
i just need a place to complain and complain and complain)