Graduation project starts next semester, and we have to write a proposal for it as our final assignment for HS401 this semester. Yet, I don't have a clear idea about what I want to research next sem. I've had a few ideas bouncing around in this skull of mine, but I don't know how feasible they are, nor have I been yet bothered enough to check. Plus, there's always the issue of certain topics being a little too sensitive for me to study :\

How scary is it to think that in a year and a few months from now, I'll have finished with school? And then find a job I must, and with that carry more responsibility than I have ever been accustomed. Pay all those pesky loans, show up for work everyday, act a certain appropriate way, perform well under pressure, answer to strangers who are not there to teach me but to judge me. How scary is that?

Helloooooooo... Is anybody home...?

This blog has been in slumber for almost a year now, that it feels absolutely strange to be typing in complete sentences, line after line, of only my own words. I've been glued to tumblr ever since the couple of days of procrastinating on Bill's damned report last year, and on tumblr I usually copy and paste quotes, or just add a few words as commentary on an article, or as a caption to a few pictures. So blogging... not quite used to it.

Year 3 sem 2 is beginning tomorrow, officially. I've only one class registered, so I'll have to begin hunting for classes. I don't want to face the reality of it, so instead, I'll look back on some of the fun I've had this past vacation period.

As soon as exams ended, I did the usual - slacking, reading, going out, shopping...

Amalina came back before exams even began, so I'd begun going out to the movies and shopping even two days before my first paper. And we watched Breaking Dawn Part I the day of my last paper. Siti arrived on the 2nd of December, and we went out some more! Nenek and their other grandma always complain that we monopolise their time while their in Singapore, but we can't help it! There's always so much to do, so much to see, so many plans that we come up with that have to be carried out for the fun-ness of it. We went out for shopping, for meals, to cycle, to Johor Baru, to Universal Studios Singapore, to fly kites, to crash polytechnic open houses, etc... And they sleep over a lot, in order to make it easier to do all these activities with us, or just to sleep over. And all this = FUN!!

Thursday, the fifth of January - USS - FINALLY I WENT TO USS! AND IT WAS FRIGGIN' AWESOME! And I can't believe my mum took Battlestar Galactica's Cylon with us! She felt dizzy after that but kudos to her (and Nadhirah) for taking it. We took lots of pictures (it felt like a lot to me, because I don't usually like being the subject of photos), and we rode lots of rides. We took the Transformers ride thrice - twice in a row during the last 20 minutes before the park closed. Transformers would be my numero uno at USS, followed by the Revenge of the Mummy ride, and then Battlestar Galactica's Human, because these rides were just the perfect amount of fun and scary. I always knew I like thrill rides, but now I feel primed for the ultimate leap - who wants to go sky diving with me? :D

On Friday and Saturday, I crashed several polytechnic open houses with my cousins Diyanah, Sabrina, Amalina and Siti, and my sister, mostly to keppo around and get freebies. I won't say anything bad about any of the open houses, but I have to say that NP was my favourite. Ngee Ann's was soooo fun, mainly because of the guide we got, and the interactive stuff during the School of Film and Media Studies tour, and all the other booths around. All of us were given the goodie bags, even though only two of us were O-level students. We even got free doughnuts! And we only had to scream at a camera "NP is Xtraordinary because of:" to get free teeshirts. Awesome freebies must mean awesome school to attend hahaha.

And talking about those NP teeshirts... on Sunday, all of us decided to wear that same teeshirt to go fly kites at Marina Barrage (...I was inspired by the kite-flying picnic I had there with Syaz and Diana earlier on Monday heheh ...). It rained, but it didn't rain on our parade!

Ahh... I hate that school begins soon. My mind is so out of practice. Last semester's grades sucked. And I don't want them to suck no more :(

I miss my best friend so much.

i miss gerry :(

and we're leaving for soul in an hour! :D

What a tough journey it's been so far. I never thought one could experience heartache repeatedly in such a small window of time and people. But this experience has been so valuable that I'd still go through it again. <3

We're only as miserable as we let ourselves become. And I'd rather not waste my life on that crap feeling (:

(By the way, I've been busy. Looking at pretty pictures on Deviantart.com. And this artist, http://nabhan.deviantart.com/ creates so many pictures of things I want to doodle but am not creative or talented enough to do.)

Fina has a CN Blue Adventure

Right after their set finished, and the lights came on.

I know twitter has been like a mini-blog, with updates almost everyday on mundane things i do and think about. But some things you just can't express fully on twitter. Like two days spent bathing in the awesome light of CN Blue!

Friday, the 20th of August 2010 (must never forget this day), there was a fan-sign event at City Square Mall. Seeing their faces in real life for the first time just blew my mind. They were ALL unbelievably pretty. Not in a gay way.

Since we (Ai, Mel and Ai's friend Dorothea) got CAT 2 tickets, we got an autograph from a random member. I didn't really have a definite must-have favourite for CN Blue, but Jungshin was the one I knew the least about, so I was a little disappointed that I got him, but he looked so nice and friendly that my disappointment with getting him soon turned into disappointment that our interaction went too smoothly and didn't last longer. I walked onto the stage and passed by all the other gleaming faces of the CN Blue members to get to Jungshin, but when I tried to show him a little sign that basically said "Jungshin-ah, jia-you" in Korean, some stupid ass security person beside me pushed it downwards so he couldn't read it. It's not like I was telling Jungshin to write my name or something >:(. When he looked up to give me the poster, (and this all happened in a space of barely 2 seconds) I took it while shouting "KAMSAHAMNIDA" in his face, because everyone around us was so loud. I probably scared the poor boy to death. Oh why why why couldn't I have just smiled sweetly and made longer eye contact before getting off the stage? I was almost the last person for him to sign for!

Aishah got a really bad cramp in her leg/ foot while we were just a few people away from getting our autographs, and could barely walk, so the staff had to support her while she limped on stage to Jonghyun. We went out by the side of the stage instead of getting back into the queue so that Aishah could rest and check on her legs, and by some divine coincidence it was where CN Blue would eventually exit the stage. Jonghyun and his BB Cream whiteness passed us by twice when he went to the loo (Lo! he is human after all!), and then the entire band passed us when they'd finished with the event. Yonghwa blew kisses and waved in the i-the-king-graciously-accept-your-love way, the rest I kinda missed because my camera was jamming :/ Dorothea got her hand clasped by Jonghyun I think! Large, sweaty hands? Haha

My Jungshin-signed poster.

Jungshin greeting fans.

Minhyuk in all his loveliness.

Jonghyun looking up at the fans gathered on the 2nd and 3rd levels.

Minhyuk with an ah-jumma fan, while an over-zealous security guard interferes.

Jonghyun on his way to the toilet.

His Majesty Jung Yonghwa thanking us for our presence.

Here you can see Mel doing a high 10 Jonghyun (she just wanted to show him her palms on which was written "Himnae", or jiayou), before Aishah is helped by a staff member to the table:

The next morning we met early, to hang around the van that would follow CN Blue and take us to the UCC for the showcase. It was my first time ever doing something like this (in fact my first time ever seeing Korean stars in real life) so I didn't know what to expect. We ran to the hotel entrance once the heads up had been given (nearly 2 hours after we'd arrived; it's all a waiting game). I got only one picture of Yonghwa and Jonghyun, because digital cameras snap really slowly haha. And as soon as their van left we ran to our van to CHASE! We were really lucky to have been driving right next to their van before their curtains closed too much. I only saw Jungshin's outline before he closed the curtain, but we saw Minhyuk shyly give us a backhanded wave (and we know it's only to us since we were the only ones who could see!).

When we arrived at the UCC, we gathered around their van and could see them exit clearly. By this time I'd learned from my mistakes: Whenever they're leaving or arriving, videos are always better than pictures. And it's on YT now!

We spent the rest of the time (between 10.30 and 3) hanging out in the toilet, where we could hear their soundchecks through a speaker connected to the main hall. Nobody else had cottoned on to this fact, so we were alone in the toilet most of the time. Except when people had to use the toilet, in which case we tried to talk over the soundchecks to distract the interlopers.

The show was... simply indescribable.

Yonghwa was an incredible showman, since his style and movements, which always appears over the top on TV music shows, translates well onto the live stage. He made jokes, he got our spirits high, he sang so well it should put many idols out there to shame, and he played his guitar with just the right amount of swagger and cockiness. He even spoke English with that same kind of swagger. But during the question and answer sessions he was personable and playful - his fanservice was unsurpassable. He seemed to understand almost exactly what it took to get us laughing or screaming in approval.

The good thing about sitting right smack in the middle is that you always think he's looking at you when he's speaking or singing.

(There's an obvious difference in the photo quality between the first and second day. The difference between my cheap camera and my brother's camera.)

Jonghyun looked shy, almost coy, like he didn't look at us as directly as Yonghwa did, but slid a glance every so often. His skills on the electric guitar got everyone screaming for more (heehee), and his deeper voice was steady and controlled and beautiful. When he speaks, though, his voice is soft and... doughy? Haha can't find the word to describe it, but it was very attractive. And yes, his slathered-on BB Creamed skin shone so luminously among his other members on stage that he kinda reminded me of a vampire. Non-human. The same shade as his white shirt haha.

Cheeky-looking Yonghwa knows how to get girls' hearts beating faster.

Jungshin was cute, and smiley, and shy looking. He doesn't seem like a natural showmanm but it was nice to see him play around on stage with Yonghwa while they were playing their songs. He teased us a little during the introduction part by not saying anything until fans were all shouting his name. Not much else I can really say about him, because my eyes were always wandering to either Yonghwa the magnetic showman (sounds so funny lol) or...

I think this was where Yonghwa said that the bad part to being famous was having to eat prettily. Minhyuk concurs.

...Minhyuk, who was sitting at the drums right behind Yonghwa. Fans sitting right in the middle, like Aishah, could barely see Minhyuk because of the microphone placements. But because I was slightly off-centre, I could see Minhyuk playing his drums. He looked so cute playing his drums, because his hair flipped to the beat and he was always mouthing the lyrics to the songs at the same time. He couldn't really look up to stare into the audience like Yonghwa could, but even if he could, I still think he'd seem so adorably shy and lovely. Yup, LOVELY is the perfect way to describe him. He turns away to drink his water, he sits with the most amount of propriety among the boys, his skin was baby smooth and glowing, and he smiles so prettily and cutely you just want to squish him up and take him home. The camera really doesn't do him justice, because he looks so unbelievably beautiful in real life, even if "beautiful" may seem a strange choice of words. Did I mention his hands looked so delicate and smooth when he waved at us in the van? Some lucky girl chosen in a lucky draw we didn't even know existed got to win his drumsticks. *dies*

And thus ended an incredible KPop adventure, my first encounter with stars and stalking and showcases and signatures. It was fun because of the company I had with me, but I don't think I'll be doing too much stalking after this. Maybe only waiting in the venue carpark to get a look, and that'd be it. It costs money I'm running out of. I'm not a natural at it, and I don't really feel comfortable chasing people. I never even called out their names once throughout the two days, except in the concert hall. Seems like I need to be in the dark, with nobody paying attention to me to be able to let loose haha. Sorry to all the people out there I may have annoyed by my fangirling about Minhyuk and screaming during the showcase. I thought myself too uptight to scream, but I couldn't help myself haha.

And next month, Jay's fanmeet!

P.S. songs I remember them playing: Let's Go Crazy, Love Revolution (in English), Love Light, Now or Never (in English), LOVE, I'm A Loner. Jonghyun strummed and sang a few lines of Sunday Morning by Maroon 5 while waiting for Minhyuk's earpiece to be fixed. I know I forgot one song, but it was the one song I'd never heard before.

My blog posts nowadays rarely narrate things that I've done. I used to be able to check up on the date I did certain things by noting the date of my posts, but the past few posts will be useless.

So, here it goes!

Last Saturday and Sunday I was shopkeeper. I got bothered by a creepy weirdo, but he went away when I told him I was married (har-de-har).

My grandma fell down and hit her head on Sunday morning. She had to get stitches, but my strong nenek's doing well =) Her house (as well as my auntie's house next door to hers) is being renovated, to expand the house and create a doorway between the houses, which is part of the cause of her fall. So the hall's pretty cluttered and dusty. But yay to a bigger house!

On Monday night, my mum, sister and I celebrated Nisfu Syaaban at Darul Takrim, which is a home for the aged. Good food, prayers, sermon and... more good food!

Tuesday... Wednesday... Thursday... the days melt and meld into each other in a montage of NCIS and Criminal Minds episodes, and housework. Oh, and let's not forget product pricing.

Helped mama out at the shop on Friday (yesterday). While taking care of the main bookstore during Friday prayer time, disaster of all disasters took place - the creepy weirdo from the week before passed by the shop, saw me inside, and made a beeline into the shop. When he was just about to start on the repertoire of questions that he slimeballs at every girl he sees, beginning with a "what's your name", I gave him the same answer: "YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW". Same as last week, he immediately turned and left. Weird, desperate, pathetic, creepy thing! I couldn't stop shuddering with leftover feelings of revulsion for awhile after that encounter. According to my cousin, he lives in her neighbourhood, and has been known to chase anything without a penis. Literally CHASE. Cases in point: 1) following my cousin on the mrt from Kembangan all the way to Dhoby Ghaut, including train transfers, just to ask for her number 2) chasing my cousin's neighbour, such that she had to run into the lift to get away. Like, WHUUTT?! And he wears the exact same dusty-looking red teeshirt the THREE times I've seen him. Weirdo, period.

Now, before I faint from the nausea of remembering those encounters, we'd better move on. I was one of the hundred-odd people who tried in vain to pre-book CN Blue CAT 1 tickets on Thursday night. This morning I'll be trying my luck again, in two hours. I'm so scared! I couldn't sleep peacefully all night; tossed and turned till about 4.30, when I realised that time passed by more slowly by trying to sleep, so I woke up to fill my time with more interesting images than that of the bedroom's dark ceiling. So here I am, wasting time by typing another blogpost. I actually had a nightmare about the ticket booking. Dreamt that I was just about to select the number of tickets I wanted to order when the number of available tickets just suddenly dwindled to nothing. And I was left staring despondently at the screen.

Hopefully it won't happen. I know my odds aren't great. Trying to buy four out of 36 tickets left, when several hundred people will be trying to buy it at the same time. But I've still got hope. And fear that I'll muddle it up. But mostly hope.

pleasepleaseplease....

Tidal Wave

Twitter's just like a mini-blog, isn't it? Except it's in real-time. And you can respond to someone way faster. So it's like SMS too. Except you can't bring it out with you. Unless you have it in your phone. So it IS like SMSing a blog in real-time thoughts. Hmm.

I'm rambling on and on, as I am wont to do when I have nothing specific to talk about. But now that I think about it, I ramble on and on even when I have something specific to talk about.

Rambling and rambles about rambling aside, I have been pretty busy these past few weeks. It's not a set schedule, though. I sleep and wake and eat when I want to, but there'll always be something I have to do. And now it's not just housework.

My mum sells costume and Zhulian jewellery in front of my granddad's shop (kedai Hj. Hashim bin Hj. Abdullah at Joo Chiat Complex) on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. I used to head there after school on Fridays when I was in JC, but between JC and the current summer holidays my visits had dwindled. Put it down to straight laziness and irresponsibility. During the past few weeks, though, I've become more helpful (I hope; wouldn't want to be a hindrance). I even opened shop on my own for two days last week while my mum was overseas. It definitely gave me a huge appreciation for my mother's efforts in starting up this little venture. I'm probably the worst salesperson there ever was - I hate having to speak to people peering at the showcase. I usually stand there quietly with what I hope is a pleasant expression on my face. But that's where I've been and will continue to be spending my time till school reopens.

Ramadhan, especially, will be a busy time. My mum'll be operating a stall at the Ramadhan Bazaar during the fasting month, and, unlike the current one, it'll be open everyday till nighttime. My mum hasn't hired any workers (unlike the past Ramadhan), so it'll just be me and her. I'll be taking over for my mum when she goes home to prepare for breaking-fast meal for my sister and dad, so it seems we'll rarely see each other at home during this time. What I'm most dreading is being there, where it will be hot and humid, while fasting, and having to deal with the hordes of people who usually throng the bazaar (especially the sort that'll cause trouble). T_T Even now we're busy trying to price and pack items that will be sold, and trying to plan for things we'll need.

I feel so uncomfortable when people praise me for helping out. I may be there out of my own free will, but it all comes down to guilt, because my mum's doing this on her own and I'd otherwise be at home slacking. So I don't deserve any credit at all. Plus I'm living off my parents, so it's only fair I help them earn the money, right? That's probably why I'm doing more housework without being told to. Like washing dishes and folding clothes and scrubbing the toilet. Because I'm free, and leeching.

At least I get to indulge in my everyday pleasures of NCIS and Criminal Minds on Fox channel. Nothing like good crime investigation dramas to keep me happy. Plus there're the three CSIs and Justified on AXN, Dream Team and 2Days1Night on KBS World, Nigella Express and Rachel Allen: BAKE! on Discovery Travel and Living and America and Australia's Next Top Model on Star World. Whatever will I do without cable TV? Like I tell my parents frequently, I need cable TV to pass exams!

Here ends a post without direction. Brzzz brzzz brzz.

World Cup is ending in less than 5 hours, and I'm sad. This tournament has been my life the past two weeks, after I came back from Malaysia where, surprisingly, not all matches are shown on TV1. In fact, the only time I watched the World Cup in Malaysia was during a teh-tarik supper where a match was shown on a huge projector. As soon as I came back home, though, I fell straight into the sleep-at-5am-wake-up-at-1pm routine. I've probably been worse than useless during this time, besides the usual clothes folding/ drying and sweeping. I stopped cooking nice things because I can't be bothered to plan and go out grocery shopping, so I've just stuck at cooking simple vegetable-ey dishes that we just eat with rice. It seems that I've been the most out-of-whack in my family, since I've caught all matches but one. No job or school to go to, you understand (yay), so I've made the late hours a routine.

Some nights I have to go at it alone, while everyone else sleeps, but my cousin Diyanah has stayed over a number of nights to watch matches with me, initially because my household paid through our noses to have the WC Channel (unfair of Starhub and Singtel), and then later for each other's company, when Channel 5 started showing the semis. Nothing beats watching football with family, except maybe watching football with family while having pizza, which we plan on having delivered tonight. And then the World Cup dream period will end...

I only managed to start watching WC regularly when the group stages were winding down and we were entering the Round-of-16. That, unfortunately, is why I, a connoisseur of male eye candy, didn't manage to appraise most of this year's teams. Such a waste. But I still managed to find a few gems here and there in the teams from R16 onwards, and a few durians as well. (Note: "Durians" are those specimens of the male species that don't look good at first glance, and whose taste will appeal to the palates of only a small portion of the existing human population. In this case, I am a part of that small portion of the global populace.) Spain, in my opinion, is undoubtedly the most good-looking team in the World Cup, but we mustn't forget other teams. Here are some standouts, according to Fina:

France's Yoann Gourcuff, 24

My only memory of him was him receiving a red card and being sent off, but anyone with eyes could see how really handsome he was, in the truest sense of the word. Kitted in France's royal blue, and with dark, slightly wavy hair, he looked like a romance novelist's dream; one could so easily imagine him as a French nobleman in the 1800s, in tan breeches, blue coat and silk cravat, his fashionably long-ish hair secured by a ribbon at the nape of his neck, strutting into a grand ballroom quite arrogantly as befits his high social standing. Ladies will swoon and flutter their eyelashes in his direction, but as usual he'll find them boring and silly and... I shall end the fantasy here, but you get my drift.

Spain's Fernando Torres, 26

He's the Golden Boy of football; mention his name to any warm-blooded female and they'll surely know of him. Blessed with dirty blonde hair, freckles galore and the cuteness of a week old puppy, he looks not a day over 18 (this cute button is actually 26!). Thank goodness for all of us ladies, he's decided to go for a shorter hairdo this World Cup. I always thought his long hair of the past EPL season did his face a disservice. Now he looks like the kind of boy you can bring home to mama, especially since, from what I hear, he's a good, religious boy too. One obstacle though: he's already married, and with a son to boot. Oh well. It would figure that someone like him would be snapped up already by some lucky lady.

The Netherlands' Klaas Jan Huntelaar, 27

Another young-looking dude, with a bony face that kinda reminds me of Kevin Bacon, except he's less skull-like. Admittedly, he has big teeth, but I still think there's something striking about this not-so-young man.

Slovakia's Vladimir Weiss, 21

He's not what you'd call conventionally handsome, but he has such a baby face! Literally! It's like someone photoshopped a baby's face onto his body! His big light grey eyes, smooth baby's-butt-cheek skin and bald head will make you think you're looking at a kid only 1 year old. I don't personally consider him eye candy, but he's someone worth noting for being so unique.

Germany's Mesut Özil, 22

Now here comes a "durian". People I've asked (my cousin and brother) adamantly state that he's ugly. They say he looks like a frog, or a newborn eagle baby, because his eyes looks like they're bulging. My cousin even (for comparison) said my brother looks better than him (barf!). But then there are others like me, whom I've found on the Internet, who think he looks adorable. And he is! There's just something that's attractive. Maybe it's his eyebags, or his skin, or a strange combination of all features set to attract only a select few ladies that somehow include me. But then, I've always liked the ones who are especially skillful and decent, like how Fabregas is king on the field, so masterful in the way he works the pitch, and yet has such cute stories of how hard-working and young he is (remember the Kinder Surprise and Coke story?). And how Jaebeom is spectacular in singing, rapping and dancing, yet so humble and respectful and loyal. Mesut Ozil is undeniably one of the brightest young stars to be coming out of the World Cup - the languid grace with which he handles the football and runs all over the field is exciting to watch. And he's also Muslim, which seals the deal for me. A skilled and decent man. So, so, SO unfortunate that he's engaged, to an older gal (I'm just being mean - she's only 29. But still!). But since she's converted to Islam for Özil, I can't hate her too much. She must really really like him. (Note: I really did try to pick the most flattering pictures; the last one I liked because he's smiling. How cute!)

There are others I would have initially thought should have made the list, but have some reason or other for not being there:

From the Netherlands, Robin van Persie, who seems to have suddenly turned old and unattractive, and Rafael van der Vaart, whom I used to love to watch. Especially Van der Vaart. He's sporting some patchy scruff over his jaw and played so horribly the few times he came on as a substitute, that it kind of embarassed me.

From Brazil, Kaka. Sure he's one of the better looking ones on his team, but I think he's just getting too old for those set of looks to work anymore. Maybe a little sag in the facial skin? I don't know.

From Spain, my dear Cesc Fabregas, who has been a substitute in only a few games. He played so well when he was on the field, but for the first few matches he had some horrible beard thing on his face that made him look 35 instead of 23. He's only recently shaved and returned to my cutie pie again, but it's a little too late for him to make the list. Pity =(

How Cesc looked for the most part of the World Cup.

How Cesc should have looked like for him to make the list.

From Paraguay, Roque Santa Cruz. Hotness in the EPL, but for the World Cup he sported long-ish hair that was parted in the freaking middle. The biggest of all hairstyle no-nos for men. Such a waste. You can see how obviously good-looking he could have been. Also such a pity.

His greasy look just doesn't cut it.

See how much better he looks now?

And there you have it. My thoughts on the 2010 World Cup in terms of eye candy available. Of course I may have missed out on others, or you may question my taste in men, but it's an accurate representation of what may or may not seem attractive in my eyes. Now let's go watch football and eat pizza!

fina

p.s. it's weird how over half the North Korean squad (14/23) seems to have been born between 1985 and 1990, and yet most of them look old. The '90-er especially, looks 30! It must be a conspiracy of some sort! Or my brain's just rubbish. Can't deny the latter...

So it seems I've been too lazy to update blogger or twitter or facebook since my return from the short vacation in Malaysia. I've been meaning to, but I just can't find the motivation to sit in front of a computer screen with the sole purpose of uploading pictures and recounting my experiences/ feelings.

Not that the vacation was not fun; it was. Definitely. But the fun I had didn't come from doing fascinating, unusual things which I would normally very excitedly blog about as soon as I arrived home. It was from simply being away from home, eating out all the time, and living out of a suitcase (or luggage, since not too many people use suitcases for travelling nowadays).

There's just something inherently exciting about coming to a hotel, never knowing what exactly awaits you in your room, even if you've stayed there more than three times before. It's especially thrilling when you realise that the room's even better/ bigger than you remember it, and you open up the drapes to a view of the city, the sea, and the Eye on Malaysia. You unpack your luggage (or not), and then try to nap to make up for the few hours of travelling in a car from the previous hotel a few states away. You slip in between familiar and comforting crisp white sheets, and your eyes drift close thinking about how nice it is that hotels run the air-conditioning 24/7. In the morning, after a quick soak in the bathtub, you feast on a buffet breakfast or intercontinental food, something so unnecessary but vital to a hotel experience. And then you pack your bags again and leave.

"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars..."

It's such a nice tune. It even appears in my dreams sometimes. And although Hayley Williams' voice doesn't sound very distinctive in that song, it's gotten so popular probably because everyone's always looking for a break from something in their lives. Unless you're someone like me, who likes the song because the tune is nice and the words are wistful/ wishy-washy/ quirky. Kinda like Fireflies by Owl City. Another nice tune. Wow am I getting a small headache now (my sister just sprayed Gapscent "Heaven" around my room and, though it smells nice, it's getting to me). I think I'll stop here.

Yesterday was such a fun friend-filled day, that today feels like the poorest imitation of what a day should be like. No friend, no fun, and no filling (?!). Today I will be paying for the sins of yesterday - gluttony, greed and lust for food. TT_TT My stomach's protesting already at the thought.

First I had the EMAS/ MLEP 10th anniversary shindig, with Syaz and Diana. I only knew a few teachers there, and Shima (101! Old School!) but I had fun! We got to dress up (a little) in traditional Malay clothing, there was free lunch, and the choices of food was better than most weddings I've been to. But the best part was getting to sit and hang out with Syaz and Diana for more than 2 hours, which we've been finding hard to do ever since we left secondary school.

It finished around 5, and after a quick change of clothes, it was off to Orchard to meet Pat, and cab to Oosh where Borge's 21st was to be held. We met Dan and Steph near the entrance, and were led to where the party was.

First impressions were: Whoa, pretty ambience, what with the waterfall feature, and candles. And Borge's cute cousins laid colourful "Happy Birthday" confetti so prettily across the table. But again, the best bit was just being able to sit with friends for a few hours and talk and laugh while consuming food, which included Yuzu sorbet, chocolate gateau with green tea ice-cream and Borge's huge-ass chocolate birthday cake. Of course I'd remember desserts most!

Of course, my blog post wouldn't be complete without a few pictures of food. So here are a few that I whipped up (slowly and painfully) this past week:

Honey and Garlic Glazed Meatballs, that was featured in Readers' Digest this month.

I didn't really follow the recipe to a tee, because 1) how do you measure 180ml of ketchup and 120ml of honey?! It'd be much easier if you use tbsp and cup. 2) I didn't have enough honey, so I mixed in pancake syrup (which is 2% maple). Also only had half the amount of meat specified, so I divided all ingredients into half except for the glaze. 3) I like anything spicy, so I mixed in chilli powder in both the meatballs and the sauce. 4) I like cheese, so I added cheese in the meatballs! Note though, that the cheese leaked out of every single meatball while baking, so I guess I'll have to look for any special method of keeping it in next time I make this.

Behold: Cheese!

Ate them in a pita bread with salad, red capsicum and mozarella. Yum! If you have store-bought meatballs, they're the easiest thing in the world to make.

I also tried Baked Stuffed Chicken Breast Tomato Casserole. Whew, that's a mouthful of words, but also a mouthful of good taste! -_-" It's combined from three different recipes, one for the stuffing, one for casserole sauce, and one for baked chicken.

The stuffing is a breadcrumb stuffing that includes onion, garlic, eggs, carrot, chicken broth and a whole bunch of herbs. I also breaded the outside of the chicken after it was rolled with my leftover schnitzel breading, browned it on a pan for a while, then covered with the tomato casserole sauce and baked. Truth be told, it would have tasted just as fine without the casserole sauce, but I'd never tried a casserole before, so when better to try it than now (I meant the past "now", when I was deciding what to cook)? And I only used half the sauce I made for the casserole, so I could use the other half to eat with the spaghetti I boiled, which is probably why the shallow parts of the casserole sauce were a little burnt. But all in all, a good filling meal for the family. I ended up finishing the chicken the next morning for my pre-fasting meal. Along with some goulash I'd made again. As always, I eat the most of what I cook.

I wonder what I'll make tomorrow. Maybe I'll just let my mother cook, while I try making dessert. Baked cheesecake, recipe from the Rachel Allen: Bake! show looks really easy, or I could try making chocolate rice pudding again, even though I'm the only one in my family who really likes it. Who could blame them? I like it probably because I made it.

Looks like the dieting wagon has well and truly left me in the dust. Oh well. Here's to more good food coming my way! Cheers!

Another long break between posts, and here I am, back at the blog. I suppose that is the theme of this entry: LOOOOOOOOOOONG breaks! I'm so glad that NTU vacay is so long. It looked like I'll have too much time on my hands, but strangely enough I don't feel bored or unfulfilled. And it's June already, so I can feel my holiday period slipping through my fingers. One month of holiday has passed, which means I only have that much time left before killer second year begins. TT_TT I don't want it to end so soon!

I'm beginning to think I won't work at all this vacation. Perhaps spend three days a week at my mum or granddad's store, earn a little extra petty cash. I love being able to be at home, see my mum and sister and dad, and now, brother, everyday, and trying to cook stuff up for them that they wouldn't otherwise be able to eat. I don't relish the household chores, but I feel at peace doing them. I don't loathe them with a passion like I did before. I'm taking life easy now, and I like it.

On another note, my cousin's wedding just passed, which means three days of "rewang" or "gotong-royong" (helping out) is done. My cousin and her new husband look so cute together, and he looks nice. I killed my feet wearing the Guess shoes I bought for prom in '08, because I had to be on my feet nearly the whole day on Sunday, but they look rad! (and LOUD!)

Tuesday 1:00am my brother came back into the family's loving arms (and I mean this quite literally). We had supper/ breakfast at Simpang Bedok till 2.30am. Noone attended work or remedial classes that day. I woke up at 1pm (since I'd slept at 6am), and then we spent the day at my grandma's. It's almost like my brother has been here the whole time. Strange.

He brought me soo many keychains that I moved my collection to a shoebox. Happy! And he brought back the birthday shoes I ordered online (divinely loud colours!), plus a cap and a sweater for me and my sister each. And now my room's all messed up with his things and my things. So, he's sleeping on the couch in the living room, and I'm sleeping in my sister's room. I'll post pictures of said things soon!!!!

Funny story: my brother talked in his sleep while I was watching TV. He said something, actually smiled at nothing. Must have been female-related. Hmm.

fina

It seems every other day I'll try cooking. Just because~

Today I tried my hand at Bavarian bread dumplings and beef goulash, with maple rice pudding as dessert. The bread dumplings and beef goulash were an astounding success with all four of us. The maple rice pudding will be death of me. T_T"

Clockwise from above right: garlic bread, bread dumplings, beef goulash and leftover schnitzel.

The bread dumplings taste like a cross between pau and bread, and the ones I made were soft and smelled good. Not sure how it's really supposed to be, but -hey- it tastes a-okay to me!

The cross-section of the bread dumpling. Looks like I didn't add enough parsley in.

The beef goulash was soooo good... I couldn't use the red wine the suggested in the recipe, so I replaced it with grape juice+vinegar, and it worked just to perfection. The meat was soft and easy to chew, which could have been down more to the hour and a half stewing and not specifically to my cooking expertise, but if it tastes good, who cares?

Maple rice pudding... now that was a disappointment if I ever saw/ made/ tasted one. It wasn't as simple as the recipe made it out to be. After double boiling for 35 minutes as instructed, the rice was uncooked and crunchy still, so I kept adding in more and more milk till I was sick of adding milk. One hour after double boiling started, it still wasn't done. And I didn't want to make it even more fattening than it already was by adding in MORE milk (albeit low-fat). In the end I added hot water and microwaved on high a few times at 2 minute intervals. I couldn't be bothered to cover with plastic to stop film from forming over the rice pudding, so it became a little more glutinous-y than I think it's supposed to be. It also tasted a little bland, which could be because I used pancake syrup (only 2% maple syrup) and not pure maple syrup. Hmm. I suppose this whole thing is a learning process after all.

The maple rice pudding, bless it's heart.

It tasted bland and okay, but a little is more than enough for me. I still have more than half the original dish left. :( btw, those are cranberries and raisins. Just in case you thought they were roaches infesting my horrible cooking.

I also re-heated leftover spaetzle (egg noodles) and mushroom gravy from two days ago. But the Bavarian bread dumplings and beef goulash were so filling, I was the only one who ended up eating these poor has-beens. Tasted great still though.

You poor dears.

Okay. So ends today's cooking adventure. I shopped at NTUC a while before beginning the cooking at 2PM. I ended around 7 because of them bloody rice pudding. The goulash and dumplings were actually already done by 5, but the rice pudding took soooooo long...

I don't really care that the pictures really don't look a treat haha. It's only to remind FutureFina how her cooking used to look. By the future (hopefully) she'll have improved and can look back and laugh at her former follies. And anyway, I'm not much of a photographer. I'm a Jack, not a master.

t-N-oodles!

p.s. I wasn't lying when I said the goulash was deeevine. Shall use that recipe again soon!

So, in the end, on Wednesday the 19th of May 2010, I decided not to make all those potato/ bread dumplings or goulash.

I thought long and hard about it, and since I thought the above wouldn't taste good without goulash, which I didn't feel like making, I decided only after arriving at NTUC that I'd make schnitzel and spaetzle!

They sound like such a pair, don't they? Spaetzle is basically German egg noodles, short fat and Twisties-looking. They smell really like Roti Jala (which I adore), and taste a little like spaghetti except more flavourful. Below is an example I didn't make:

And since most of the recipes say spaetzle goes with schnitzel, I decided I'd try making chicken schnitzel too. I made mushroom gravy to eat with the spaetzle just in case it tasted too bland or something.

They don't look at all appetizing from the low-res cam phone picture, but they mostly tasted quite good! The surprise was how long it took to make the spaetzle (which has a pretty easy recipe) compared to the other two. The mushroom gravy took 30 minutes to simmer after all the ingredients had been added, and I was perplexed by why the recipe said to add flour to a dry-ish pan of dehydrated mushrooms. But boiling the spaetzle... it took me quite long, because of the difficulty in using a modified roti-jala colander to make them into noodles. I had to hang my arm over the pot of boiling water (they're boiled, so they're healthy = yay!) for almost a half hour waiting for the flour egg mixture to drip into the pot. I washed my colander-wielding arm every 5 minutes so it wouldn't get too hot. And the noodles didn't turn out pretty either. But they did smell and taste good. Leftovers can be sauteed in butter the next day, and they'll still taste as good.

Chicken schnitzel was simpler to make in terms of method. Salt and pepper, flour, dip in egg, smother in parmesan-breadcrumbs-seasoning mix, and then just fry over low heat in butter. No need for mixing, no flour, no weird put-together utensils. Crispy, tender, and tasty. Yumm.

Now, I never claim to be a good cook, because I'm so accident prone and I cook without thinking about the actual flavours. I guess I'm just good with following recipe instructions. At least I get to eat excitingly! Recipes can sometimes lead you down the wrong path - something my family learned today when the mushroom gravy turned out to salty. The recipe just said "salt and pepper to taste". I'd used chicken stock to make the broth before seasoning, but how was I to know that chicken stock was already so salty?! I'd never used it before :S And so I added a quarter teaspoon of salt to already salty gravy. Presto! Over salty mushroom gravy, which remained that way even after adding so much water. Hopefully it'll taste better tomorrow when I re-heat with more water and potatoes to absorb the saltiness. Also, I used Swiss brown mushrooms instead of white button or portobello just because it was browner than the button ones and cheaper than the protobellos. It tasted fine in the gravy, but I'm guessing picking the cheaper or prettier variety may not work out for all other recipes. So research and experience (which I sorely lack) is important! Must take note, must take note...

Okay, so ends my cooking adventure for today. Stayed in the kitchen for over 3 hours making these things, but the meal was good and filling. I was alone the entire cooking process, hence the little mishaps, but thank goodness my mum helped a little by boiling broccoli and carrots to complement the schnitzel and spaetzle. Added a little bit of "healthy" to today's dinner.

Friday: Bavarian bread dumplings next! Maybe with beef goulash...

Sweet talk.

Ooooh by the way, Jay released a new video, which has him smiling more. Freaking adorable! I really liked when he sang "Watcha Say", which is the second song. And he announced that he has a twitter now! So we can send him suggestions for his fanclub name, and he'll personally call up the person who suggests the best name.

T.T I know I don't stand a chance. I'm crying on the inside at the idea that some other huge Jay fan will hear him speak honeyed words into her ear (even if it's via telephone bits). Howwwwww unfair is this world? (Follow him at: https://twitter.com/JAYBUMAOM)

and without further ado, here's Jay in all his glory and cute dorkiness!

sigh.

Joyride.

It's been a loooong time since I've ventured into the ghost town known as my blog. And the past few times were laughable attempts at a conversation with myself. I've had better luck self-conversing through twitter, but sometimes I suppose I miss the ability to word-vomit and not worry about having to have understandable yet entertaining one-liners. I'm too lazy to be creative at twittering. So voila! I'm back in the old blogosphere, attempting to explain my activities of the past month to my future self re-reading my thoughts.

Since exams have ended, I have been learning more and more about myself. I have gone through exam hell, extreme elation that exams were extinguished, pure self-indulgence, and non-repentance.

Right now I'm still at the pure self-indulgence stage. Exams have been done almost three weeks now, but I'm nowhere near tired of staying at home. There's driving to learn, comics to read, shows to watch, knitting to do, household chores to finish... I'm just not done with my holiday. Which explains why I'm kinda leaning towards passive job-looking. Meaning I don't look for ads, don't actively send out resumes. If I find one, then it's by total chance. If I don't find one, then -hey- all the more fun for me.

My only problem is that the activities I get up to are not doing me any good physically. I'm cooking more nowadays, but my only motivation to cook and bake more is so I can eat! I don't remotely enjoy the act of cooking itself, I just enjoy the fact that I get to eat recipes that I can't find anywhere in Singapore, and that nobody will make for me. Like rice cakes, and the meatier variation I made, and minced meat patties, and peanut butter-nutella brownies (which, I'm sad to report, are down to the last 3 pieces. I may decide to have a farewell, savouring ceremony tomorrow in the presence of milk). Tomorrow for breakfast I'm also planning on making rice griddle cakes, wherein the rice is cooked in milk and honey first, and for the main meals either German potato dumplings called kartoffelkloesse, Bavarian bread dumplings called semmeknoedel, or German egg noodles called spaetzle. What a mouthful. I hope they taste great. But that's the thing. I cook so I can indulge. T_T I've created a monster!

One thing I'm sure of: this phase will eventually pass. Just like how the K-Pop cloud is actually leaving me a little behind, and romance novels have lost their glitter, and swimming has become so troublesome (not pleased to report that I completely stopped swimming since the time I got sick THREE months ago. Completely lost my momentum, and it's a lonely affair anyway).

Random weird fact: in my head I'm dictating my thoughts to my fingertips in a pseudo British accent. Can't say whether it sound believable or not, because it all comes out garbled the soonest I open my mouth to try speak the words. So for now I'm content to let it simmer inside my skull. Bubble bubble bubble.

dot . dot . dot .

Went to the zoo last friday with B.L.U.E. Marx! (Consisting of Pat, Aishah, Mel and me. Duh! We're like, only the most famous people in the solar system!) Superduperbananalicious fun. I will type out the "Friends-of-BLUE-Marx" post soon! Just... let me finish procrastinating?

And then on Sunday I had a picnic at East Coast with my lovelies Syaz and Diana! We had packed Nasi Sambal Goreng which was omgosh-so-good brought by Syaz, some of the meaty rice cakes, and some brownies. And of course, Sprite. Had fun despite (or maybe because) of the little drizzle that persisted our last half-an-hour there.

Then I had to zoom-zoom off early (sorry guys) to a family gathering at Sakunthala, 20-odd people altogether including my grandma who seldom goes out to eat with us. If you'll look at the tagged photos of me on Facebook, you'll see several unglam pictures of me eating and sulking and whatnot. I'm so over being embarassed by them. I'm just an unglam person, period. I've made my peace with it. Though I have to say the Khulfi or North Indian ice cream that I was wolfing down unglamorously, was laced with pure silver which, while not contributing to the taste at all, made me feel like I was eating MAGIC! Sorry, my exaggerating mode got accidentally switched on. It tasted of nothingness, the ice-cream was okay, but at least it looked good.

Now I shall end my word vomit. I think I went too overkill on the amount of parenthesis and extra, unnecessary descriptions. Oh well. It's the little British voice in my head that keeps egging me on. It actually sounds a little like an old English grandma. Or a Cockney tranny. I shall add this to my old Texan grandma repertoire of accents. Cool. American and Continental. I shall next learn how to think in the Hong Kong tai tai voice! ... Shh... I could literally hear myself losing that British voice. Now I'm thinking Singaporean again. Makes a noticeable difference in the way I type, doesn't it?

Better end now before it comes back, annoying old bat. Ohmygosh, I feel it creeping on me!...

fina.

Jay's new song collboration with Dumbfoundead and Clara. It's sooo goooodddd..... and the download's free!

Jay raps:

Although I know some people out there throwin dirt on my name

But it's all good
Still show em some love
Cause unlike that girl from the movie
I ain't holdin no grudge

Love that part the most, but there's still typical Jaycheesiness like "Life's a cow I made a burger, and I'm serving it with some fries"...??? Hahaha You just gotta love him. and my mum was at Bugis Street today, and the shop assisstant's ringtone was Jay's version of Nothing On You. My husband's getting so much love <3>

Plus, if you thought that K-Pop is all fluff and cheesy boybands, you obviously haven't heard One Way yet. They're so talented and their self-written songs are catchy, and most importantly there's none of that Engrish in their songs.

Magic is a catchy RnB song that's been stuck in my mind.

One Way (by One Way) is a more in da hood (which reminds me, one of my abbreviations for HS202 is Lick Da Flag, Queen Elizabeth. Whuuuttt??!).

Made more ricecakes for lunch today! Nothing burned, nothing caught fire, not much smoke. Thank goodness. Just forgot to add in salt. But it tasted passable. Shall add in minced meat or something next time. ^^

Okay. That's it for today's post. Am sooooooo not prepared for anything at all. I've been reading and reading, but nothing's entering my mind. I guess I'll only start remembering when I start really copying everything down from lectures...

fina

Please tweet #happy23JayPark at Singapore time 3.00PM!!!! Thanks!

I'm getting so cranky from reading it annoys even me! And it's not like I even read for the whole day! I only started at 2, had like an hour break for lunch, and then stopped at 6 to take care of domestic issues like make coffee, heat up food, etc. And now I feel so angsty I don't feel like doing anything. *Heavy sigh* I even lashed out at a chair. Because it's orange and cushioned. (Whaaat??!)

Anyway, I, for the first time in my Asian life, am sick of eating rice. So yesterday I made imitation rice-ball/ onigiri with none of the usual ingredients for lunch. Except while balling the rice up I thought it'd taste good dipped in egg and breadcrumbs. So I tried doing that, except the breadcrumbs were more bread than crumbs. And the entire thing was tasteless. Chili sauce had to come to the rescue.

My parents were out during dinner yesterday, so I decided to make dinner for my sister and I. I was still sick of plain rice, so I tried making ricecakes with (instant) cream of mushroom soup. But so many mishaps happened in the making of these damned rice cakes, I felt like crying and was moaning, "Why me? Why today?! Why??!!" The lack of normal ingredients, the burning of the scallions and garlic, and oil shooting at my face and arms were the least of my problems.

Numero uno: The entire house was filled with smoke when I was frying the ricecakes. They weren't burning or anything, but the frying pan just emitted so much smoke... The kitchen window was open, but I guess the sheets hanging right across it blocked the smoke from going out the window.

Number two: My frying pan caught on fire! I looked away for one second to put a fried ricecake on the plate, and when I looked up I was shocked to see fire about 10 cm high dancing over its surface, when there wasn't even any food on it. I eventually got to douse it... with the oil already on the pan.

Number three: The vegetable oil bottle cap fell into the frying pan, after it'd slipped out of my fingers when I was trying to keep the bottle. I had to fish it out of the pan with the ladle. Now it looks all deformed and wrinkly and spotty. Needless to say (but still I'll say it) I changed the oil, pan and the ladle. So that added another 10 minutes to my cooking time.

Eventually what was supposed to be 40 minutes of cooking because an hour and a half, plus sitting and waiting for my sister to come home so we could eat. Aigoya....

My mum's birthday is today, and I stayed up till 3 to make her card. My third card of April, but my pop-up skills are not improving at all. I made three different types of pop up cards this month, but I'm so proud of them! They take me a long time to make but I like crafty stuff (sly laugh). And my mum's card is now sitting pretty in a vase of (plastic) flowers.

I think I'll go have dinner with my family now.

Yay I'm finally on my own blogger!

The day before yesterday was Pat's birthday, so BLUE Marx ([Pat, Aishah, Mel and I] met up at Swensen's Bugis to celebrate! It was a much needed break from not studying (who knew watching television and surfing the net could be so stressful?). And instead of Pat being just a gift-receiver, she gave us gifts as well! All of us tried to look mad and whine "Whhyyy???!!!" but the Pooh, Eeyore and Nemo-and-dad balloons she gave us were too cute to deny. In fact, Nemo and dad are right across from my bed, staring at me right now.

We ordered a one-for-one lunch (thank goodness for that!) and had a Giant Earthquake ice-cream that the staff kindly added candles and dry ice effects to. And because I'd come prepared with extra hunger (no dinner or breakfast) I had a butterscotch milkshake with the ice-cream. Barf-tastic, because I was so full I wanted to barf, but it tasted fantastic.

We sang her a birthday song out loud since the restaurant was almost empty. Oh yeah, and we talked about Samuel (or what was left of him. Poor guy. Even Thomas my lappie and Alfred Pat's friend lasted longer than oh-so-sweet Samuel.) Lol.

And then off to Kick Ass! Watch the movie I mean. It was super strange and had many Oh-My-Gah! moments in it , but it had a nice storyline. And Aaron Johnson was convincing as a geeky, ugly American teenage boy (not sure it was a compliment) with nice clear-as-glass eyes (now THAT was a compliment).

We eventually had to part, to go "study", but I know I only went home to watch more TV and anime.

Even yesterday was supposed to be the start of my studying, but I had driving to learn, food to eat, more shows to watch. So guess what? Everything has been postponed to today. And here I am on blogger, doing something other than studying. Oh well.

fina

P.S. Eeyore's so famous that amongst all the words that were red-lined by my spell-checker, he survived! And Pooh too! Nemo... not so lucky.

P.P.S. If you're reading this, and have time to spare on unproductive work, SMS me ASAP! I need to ask opinions on my 2009 birthday shoes I'm ordering online. Whittled down choices to 3, but I'm so undecided!

I haven't been updating much recently, have I? I'll usually go through a phase of updating so regularly I think people become sick of reading about the same person's same thoughts and same mundane life, and then another phase where I become too lethargic/ uninspired/ busy to update.

And I have been relatively busy, I suppose. Not with too much schoolwork though. I'm surprisingly watching more TV than ever before. But what I have been busy with, is creating an imaginary situation with a few real characters, and 2 billion other man-made ones. It's been fun. I've been extremely diligent at it too. I'm quite proud of it. Which reminds me, I need to send it to Pat and Mel...

April is the month of many many birthdays! Syaz, Pat, my mother, Jaebeom, etc. I feel money that isn't even mine draining away. *flushes toilet*

And please don't make fun of my husband's goreng pisang anymore. It hurts his feelings, and mine too, because people really underestimate his gift just because of his stature. T_T Really, you'd be surprised at how much more blessed he is than the average-sized person. And he does the gym everyday, so it should tell you how both of us feel about this thing ;)

Haha Risque topics they are, but I'm pushing 20. Isn't that weird? I don't feel a day over 17. Nothing much has changed in me since I've been 17, except for the fact that I've started being even more immature and weird. Maturity is regressing for me. But I'm having the time of my life now, so I'm not really complaining about it. Seriously, I cannot imagine how it'd be to be all mature, and serious, and normal. Wouldn't life be boring? What do you talk about with friends? Schoolwork? Family? TV shows? More work?

I feel fine (albeit frequently disoriented) being who I am everyday. If I can bring laughter to people, or at least to myself, I feel like I've accomplished something. That, plus TV, is apparently all I need to feel content. I should just move to a foreign country, buy a satellite for cable TV, bring family and friends with me, and operate a small barely profitable shop where I have a lot of free time on my hands. Then I can go on holiday once in a while from this life-time holiday, to do things like skydive and bungee jump, before going back to my relatively uneventful life where I have time to switch back and forth between knitting, learning how to play songs on an electronic organ and a guitar, play with Lego and read fiction. And watch TV.

My ideal life - *sigh*. Not very realistic. But stamped all over with my personality: LAID-BACK (or just plain lazy).

Grey's Anatomy starting soon. Yay! I'll do tomorrow's readings later. Or tomorrow. Hmm.

P.S. Not only am I uninterested in schoolwork (although somethings we learn are interesting), but the boys in school are just plain -_-. I don't even have eye candy to keep me excited about school. Whyy???!!! (Maybe eye candy's such an immature concept, but it's so exciting when there is someone who catches your eye, someone whom I am currently missing. *another old person sigh*)

fina

"Brind old people. Mazeltov."