Today! Today was the big day! And -oh!- how glorious it was to finally be freed from this jail cell that was made up of the elastics that tied my jaws together.

I could hardly sleep from all the anticipation surrounding this great un-tying. Instead of waking up at 9.15 as set by my alarm clock, I woke up around 8. Before I knew it, it was finally 11 (actually 10 minutes past that), I was in the dentist's chair, and a few snips of the scissors later, I was free! No more elastics forcibly clenching my jaw tight, no more bite guard crowding my tongue in! No more! My mouth felt so empty all of a sudden, but the feeling of fullness was not one that I would miss. Ever. The dentist also removed the stitches on my cheeks, which didn't hurt as much as I had expected it to.

And then I was off into the world, free as a bird.

My first thought post-elastics was of food. It had also been my last thought before the jailbreak. And also my only thought this past week.

I wanted something fried.

And so my first solid bit of food in more than a week came in the form of fish and chips from the hospital kopitiam. I reckon I had been a bit too ambitious, since I'm supposed to be on a soft-chew diet for a couple more weeks. But what the heck. Imma aim high and see how far I get.

Quite unsusprisingly, it wasn't very far. Less than halfway through eating the fish, I surrendered. It wasn't that I was full. Far from it. My jaws just couldn't open wide enough to admit more than a quarter of a fork of fish, and it had to be a very flat piece of fish. The lower jaw ached each time it had to open to its maximum cm-and-a-half. And it wasn't used to being in this new position, so it had to labour to chew that very small piece of fish. Eventually, I just got too tired of eating the fish. So I tasked my dad with finishing up my fish and chips, and got myself a cuppa frozen yoghurt instead. MUCH more manageable (although I still had to take very small spoonfuls).

Afterwards when I met Hanif, I managed to surprise myself with how hungry I was. We had agreed to share the mentaiko omu rice at Liang Court because I felt like I probably wouldn't be able to eat even half of it. But, lo and behold, I put away about three quarters of it. The egg was soft enough and the rice small enough for me take small bites quite easily. And I even felt hungry for more. MOAR FOOD! It was as if the dragon that had been starved for a week was suddenly released from it's cage into a forest teeming with abundance of food (which was exactly how I felt at that time).

And so, I went in search of more food, and came up with a cheesecake and a frappe from mcdonalds. Finally. Satiation. Bliss. Fulfilment. Even if the jaw hurts, Fina can and will eat. No need to stick to a porridge and soup diet. Thank goodness.

Tomorrow! Oh!

 I dream of eating sushi (unagi and salmon, specifically). I dream of normal bowel movements (no more than twice a day, and certainly not the 15 that has been happening). I dream of going out without people staring at my wrapped-up skull. I dream of enunciating again. I dream of no more crushed up bitter pills!

In 12 hours I shall awake to make my way to KTPH.

TOMORROW!!!

Can I just remark how nice Khoo Teck Phuat Hospital is? And it's not just the beauty on their outside, either (although I would confidently state the KTPH has the nicest hospital grounds in Singapore). I've just received a call from one of their nurses asking how I was doing. And before my surgery, another nurse called to confirm that I was coming and to answer any questions I might have. How nice of them (and their system)!

On another note... tomorrow is unbanding day!! The day I get the dreaded elastics off my teeth and the suffocating compression band off my head. YESSSAAA!!

I've taken to walking around the house, chanting "Tuesday and Wednesday, Tuesday and Wednesday".

Today is the fifth day post-op, and I am going crazy at home! I can't open my mouth to speak (although I continue to speak regardless), I can't stick out my tongue to taste even the tiniest morsel of solid food, I can't open my mouth to swallow pills whole and thus have to resort to grinding my pills into the most undelicious cocktail using the pestle and mortar. And I'm going mad with boredom at home!

Yesterday, I managed to leave the house for about half an hour or so to meet Hanif downstairs. Sweet boy gave me a Pooh Bear bouquet (that has been thusly dubbed Pooh-lat, to correlate with my boo-latness). But it was short-lived meeting because he was having a cold and I could hardly go anywhere anyway.

There's only Tuesday and Wednesday standing in between me, and my next appointment with the doctor. I cannot wait to get my teeth free from these elastics! I somehow have myself convinced that I'll be able to talk and chew as close to normal as possible once my teeth are free. Maybe I'm just too optimistic, but I surely don't see myself as the kind to just stick to a soft diet without at least trying to eat all my favorite foods.

Something else that's bothering me, is the fact that something is up with my bowel movements. It feels like diarrhea, cos it happens every hour or so, and there's always some gassy stuff happening in there somewhere. Feels like everything between my ribs and my thighs is a giant thundercloud that rumbles and heaves with the weight of this abominable liquid diet I've been on. Because my number one suspect right now is the diet I've been forced to follow, that makes me ingest some sort of powdered milk at least thrice a day even though I'm lactose-intolerant :(

Urghh.

Anyway...

Tuesday and Wednesday. Tuesday and Wednesday...

I have no idea how long it's been since I've blogged, whether it was published or not.

But I'm returning to pen a few thoughts due to some major happenings in my life that seem too significant to just totally ignore.

1) After about a year and a half of slacking off (although there were part time jobs in between), I got a job! Of course there have been some issues I've had to deal with, like feeling like a servant, feeling like I'm not getting much done, like I'm a cog in a huge wheel, being so bad at saving money despite initially lofty plans (lol). Just when I'm settling in I find out that the senior executive and possibly my boss are leaving (??!!). So I think more wrenches will be thrown in my way.

2) Hanif and I just celebrated out one year anniversary of officially being a couple, exactly two weeks ago. This past year (plus) has been the happiest and completest I've ever been with anyone. I would never trade any of it. And I hope we find a way to make it work forevaaaa.

3) Just had my jaw surgery yesterday! It was almost 3 years in the making, and finally it's done. I think I've been strong - more excited than scared pre-surgery, most definitely. A nurse has commented that I'm surprisingly alert early on after the surgery, and my surgeon said I'm the most talkative patient she's had, even with my jaws wired shut. I know I should have been resting more, but I'm a prideful patient that just has to show everyone that she's having the time of her life haha. Right now, about 36 hours post-surgery, I'm finding that the worst part is not the pain or swelling or lack of proper enunciationg. It's the fact that I can't chewwww T-T. Ughhh one week to go on a purely liquid diet. I HOPE I heal even faster after they take off the elastics, so I can start eating again. I was chewing on steaks two days after my wisdom teeth surgery (all four teeth pulled out!). So maybe I can start off on eggs and really soft maggi right after? I hope so.

That's all I wanna update for now~