as research has shown, an organised room yields an organised mind
just what i need for promotionals
so,i've been trying to clean up my room

and guess what? i've been slaving away in my room since 2.00 pm this afternoon
clearing out things i don't need - tissue, clothes, paper, etc.
and i'm still not done
hahah
it's pathetic, yo
granted, i did take a few long breaks
to eat, to read all the papers i've got

but it's still taking too long!
and i'm not halfway done!
in fact, it looks worse now
because although my cupboard and shelves are cleared out, my floor is littered with all the stuff i want to throw away and stuff i haven't yet organised

aaaarrggghhhh!!!!
so frustrating

anyways, i was going through some old rjc papers
and i've realised why they do so well for their gp essays
it's because they actually do things during class that helps them with writing essays
like, they have worksheets - fill in the blanks - for philosophical terms
and for compre, they have guides on how to figure out the meaning of a word

hmm...
it's not that i want to do work during gp classes
god knows i'm really lazy
it's just, i just did my gp paper for promos yesterday
and i realise that my english sucks big time
i wrote only 2 and 1/2 pages for my essay
when some people write 4 full pages

and my compre!

don't even ask about my compre
i misinterpreted (or misinterpretated - hahah!) certain questions

sucks, sucks, sucks

aiite then, guess i'm off to continue bulldozing through my room

(too full for choc pudding - bummers!)

fina, the floundering fish

5-0!!! 5-0!!! Arsenal won, 5-0!!!

it's 1 goal over the 4-0 that was predicted by the new paper
arsenal just slaughtered derby county
and, at derby's expense, i feel ultimately joyous

and, guess what? for the first time ever, i tried to predict the score before the match started
i thought, 4-0? nah, not with the form arsenal's in
it's gonna be 5-0
and i was right! hahah
an informed prediction, though

and, guess who scored again?
Fabregas, of course
that wonderboy/man drove the ball from 20 yards out in the 70th minute
and adebayor scored a hat-trick (three goals)
and abou! abou diaby scored the first goal!!!
haha
i wonder if he was fasting during that game
must be awful hard to fast and then run around the field like that

hmm...
i'm off to watch the reading/wigan match now
i hear that kitson will score in the 29th minute
see yas!

fina

so it seems that fina the naughty girl has not shown up for h1 maths lecture... for the second week in a row!
where did she go? what did she do?
find out here on the fina show, exclusively on channel F!

..................+xXx+.+xXx+.+xXx+..................

what did i do today?

well, tried to study econs in the cc during chapel,
but soon got distracted when they showed the 1 LIFE video
it's about people infected with HIV, and the 1 LIFE exhibition is supposed to help the general public experience what these people have gone through
it's really insightful and interesting
i just might volunteer for that...

and i slept during the econs lecture
hahah
don't worry, there was no chance of getting scolded
it seems the lecturer would rather we sleep during lecture and not disturb anyone else, than if we were to talk during lecture and disrupt it

what then...
pw: discussed survey questions, and then discussed soccer (or at least, the players) with kellyn
econs: copied down whatever was required even though i was almost falling asleep

and then was the all-important, h1 maths lecture
really, even if i had gone there, it would have been no use
they were only going through the test papers
which i did not attend last lecture to take (for reasons that shall remain hidden)

so here i am at the computer
decided not to go bukit timah to buy chocolate pudding, since i still have two cups of it at home (yum!)
i'd actually planned on the bus ride home to buy the ingredients for a milo godzilla: vanilla ice-cream, whipped cream, perhaps sprinkles
but circumstances did not allow me to do so (i'd changed my mind)

gah~
guess i'll make a milo godzilla with only milo powder then...

Shiny (Steph)
Flying (Fina)
Dinosaurs (Dan)

Duty (Dan)
Free (Fina)
Shopping (Steph)

hahah

fina:P

i love grocery shopping!
hahah
yesterday steph and i went shopping at orchard and bukit timah
but no, not for girly stuff
but for food!

hahah
i bought 1. chocolate pudding, from the cold storage or wtv at taka
2. baby biscuits
3. vitagen
4. mochi, filled with chocolate ice-cream, all from ntuc finest at bukit timah plaza

hmm
shd bring much more money next time
felt like buying every single nice-looking snack

and i've bought a lock for our locker!!
it's a gawdy-ly-coloured piece of work, that's green, with four multi-coloured dials
sorry, guys!
it was all i could find!

hahah
hmmm....

till nxt post

finananananana

(leonard: leh-nerd or lee-oh-nahrd?)

oh yeah, i forgot to mention in my previous post...

ARSENAL WON 3-1!!!!!

against their bitter rivals, Tottenham Hotspurs, in the north London derby!!!

wooohooooooo!!!

i actually felt better when the Spurs scored the first goal

because if their opponents scores the first goal, usually Arsenal would win the match by scoring two or more goals afterwards

and, true enough, they did!

yay! yay! yahoo!!!!

i swear, this post has the most number of exclamation marks out of any post i have written... ever!

and fabregas scored a goal!!!!!

i am so in love with that genius of a young man

although i don't like his teeth.... (lol!)

hahah

okay then, must finish my literature essay...

see ya!

fina <3 francesc fabregas

i hate going to see the doctor alone - polyclinic, private doctor, whatever
it's just very hard, as a blur teenager, to answer the doctor's questions effectively

like, when the doctor asks: do u wanna go see a specialist? at the hospital?

what am i supposed to answer? i have to ask the 'rents
and do i need money for that?
do i have to take a cab there?
or do they send me on an ambulance? (though this is too far-fetched)
when am i supposed to go?
what?when?why?where?how?... I DON"T KNOW!!

and if she asks: can you take this medicine?

huh? i don't know
you're the doctor, you tell me!
i never look at the medicine i eat
i'm too young for that!

hahah
i think i really irritated the doctor
ya know, i think i may have some record with the polyclinic
(although i don't go there all that often
if i'm home, sick, i don't usually feel up to walking to the polyclinic and facing all the queues)
because when i was given a room to go to to see the doctor, i got the "emergency doctor"
all very weird
and she did seem very senior
hmm...

anyways, yesterday...
i really felt that all was hopeless yesterday
you see, the father said that i could do this thing that i've wanted to do
and i felt so jubilant
i could see the sun coming out from behind the dark cloud of my depressed-ish thoughts of the days before
it seemed like life would turn out the way i wanted it to
i had it all planned out - by february next year, i would be able to pay my parents back for funding this thing

then the mother came home, and she found out
and said no
but the father had said yes first, so i thought it'd be fine
then the spineless dude changed his mind

and i saw all my dreams go down the drain
just, flowing out, and i could do nothing to put a stop to it
i was so upset with them for not seeing the logic in my choice that although i was fasting, i didn't eat until it was 9.30pm
i didn't want to sit at the table with them
all i did when it was time to break fast was go to the toilet, sipped some tap water, and lock myself back in my room

*sighs*
i really dislike them not letting me make my own decisions
it's my life, anyway
and i know i'll feel happier, free-er to be myself, if i do this

by now, though, i think it'd be too late to act on my decision anyway
deadline's coming up real fast

bleargh

fina
(i'm just so sick of life right now)

today was a particularly depressing (or emo) day for me

i have no idea why...

hmm... thoughts about death and suicide?
hahah, don't panic yet
the thoughts aren't about my suicide, per se
just suicide in general

sparked by all those tales of a particular teacher in our school (let's call him shawty, shall we?) and a student's suicide in recent years

all that made me think of why we're being so stressed out by school and teachers, which led me to ask the meaning of life

"...there is no meaning to life. we do all this studying to earn the most money, to gain material goods, to gatify ourselves. but wouldn't need to if there was no life. so we might as well die. everyone should die..."

okay, that line above was not said in all seriousness
so don't worry just yet
it was a "tickle-me-emo" parody (watch you-tube)
but so far, i've concluded that it is impossible to figure that out until we die, then revelation comes (or we just... disappear)

now, the fast way to attain that is to kill yourself
but that's sinful, and it will take a lot for you to take that final step towards suicide, since you're stepping into the unknown

the harder way to find the meaning of life, is through contemplation and meditation (for a couple of years, at least)
but in this fast-paced world where it is almost absolutely necessary to be doing something to earn money, meditation would take too much time and effort, and it's not a sure thing, anyway

so, what should we do?
*shrugs* i'm not sure either

two options: conform and enslave yourself to this society's stupid pressures, or find a way to break free and make your own way into your world, on your own terms
the first option is easier, in a way, while the second requires gumption and creativity (and the means)

ouh, i just wanna kill myself...
(see how emo i am??)

on a lighter note, i finally watched ratatouille!
went with steph just now, to marina square
nice movie XD
the thing was, i got home at 8.15, because there was a stupid traffic jam on a stupid bus that had to take a long route (960)
broke my fast on the bus, with the hersheys kiss-ables i'd bought just in case
but i wasn't really that hungry, even when i got home,
so t'wasn't so bad

and on a lighter, more "typical-schoolgirl-bimbotic" note, i am so madly infatuated with big bang!
no, not the supposed bang from which the universe began (that's totally wrong, btw, there was no bang)
it's this korean boyband, whom i haven't even heard sing as a group
(they're on this documentary on mtv, that's where i heard of them)
but some of them are so cute!
my favourite-est of all is the youngest member, Lee Seung-Hyun, or Seungri
he's my age
not your age, no, but my age (unless you were born on my birthday)
yup, he's exactly my age, a Dec 12 baby
heehee
he just looks so cute with his specs on
and he's the best dancer of the group

the left-most guy, with specs
i know, he doesn't look so cute here
but he has such a shy smile, with sleepy eyes, and the specs, and spiky-ish hair
just... *swoons*
hahah


such bimbotic talk
hahah
but it balances out all that emo talk i had in the beginning of the day

bleargh
we should all just die

fina

(yup, my last sentence was a joke. don't panic so quickly! :P )

got stupid flu
throat is sore
nose is sore from blowing
dunno why my sentences are short

drip; drip; drip
like island creamery =)

(puasa tomorrow!)

yo, back!

stayed in malacca for only one night, so didn't feel much like a holiday to me
but it was fun
stayed in that ostentatious-looking hotel, the legacy hotel or wtv

you can see for yourself, how over-the-top it was
hahah
but it was fine
walls were nice and thick, just the way i like them; i can sing and scream as much as i liked
nothing interesting happened there, other that sis eyeing the bellboy
funnily enough, i never really got a good look at him
oh well

twas supposed to be a shopping trip; i had everything planned out - what to buy, and where
my list looked something like this:
1. heels, for casual wear
2. heels, for hari raya
3. socks, for school
4. clothes, for they're never enough

but... got things i didn't want, and didn't get some things i wanted
bought:
1. heels, for casual wear, though they didn't look like the image in my mind
2. a 3/4 sleeved teeshirt, VJjeans or sth, but that's all
3. two bottles of perfume from the body shop that i don't need (2??!!); rougeberry and chymara
4. socks, but only five pairs from soxworld
5. angelfit two-way foundation from maybelline, spontaneously bought since i don't wear much makeup

hmm
the list doesn't look too bad, but i didn't get the most important stuff, like: shoes for hari raya
what am i going to wear?!!

guess i will have to shop around some more, albeit in singapore
speaking of shopping, i now have a vpost account and us address
all ready for my jansport bag purchase online
the only thing is, i'm procrastinating because i'm not sure it's the wisest choice, buying this bag online
i mean, my bro just gave me a mizuno bag he assures me only one other person has in singapore
and he's telling me not to buy the bag online
but...
as a girl, vanity is something i can't ignore, and the mizuno bag simply ain't pretty enough

hmm
i shall ponder some more, and decide later

(and i really should begin studying
i really should
shouldn't be thinking of shopping during such a crucial period)

adios, mi amigos
=)
fina

leaving for a two-day shopping trip to malacca in...
45 minutes
and my bags still aren't packed!

not going for gp tmr, obviously
but will still make it for pw meeting with miss zhou and then for bowling

=))