My last post was vulgar, to say the least. But I won't delete something that was an honest, spontaneous expression of my feelings at that time.

And whatever I said was true anyway. So BANANAPEEL it.

I haven't begun to/can't really start studying proper yet, even by this late stage. Midterm tomorrow - ah, what the heck? A fail wouldn't kill me. Maybe I need a year off or something to get things into perspective, because I'm really losing the focus on studying and schoolwork. What's the point of going to school when you're just going through the motions and aren't interested in learning anything?

Soooo restless now. Want a hot fudge sundae ^^

No more 2PM. 2PM are traitors. 2PM are liars.

Aftermath of the conference: You can never believe the "reality" you see on TV, can you? Relationships and personalities are all fake, all scripted. Once the money-making link is broken, once you don't need that person any more to succeed, you can easily throw shit on them and kick them out onto the street.

Fucking bastards, selfish mean-spirited assholes who've forgotten to whom they need to be grateful to and grateful for. Ok Taecyeon, Lee Junsu, Hwang Chansung, Lee Junho, Jang Wooyoung, you are all dead to me. Nichkhun you sweet soul, hope they're not treating you like shit there.

I am absolutely spitting mad and disappointed and betrayed by all that has transpired. They've fucking wasted my Saturday, making me worried about how those poor little dears are coping with the pressure and sadness. The poor fans who were there to see the fantasy image these boys have been cultivating crumble right before their eyes.

2PM is shit. 2PM is dead.

Goodbye.

Shitt...

I really cannot put my feelings into words right now, except "shit"...

A few days ago JYPE officially announced that Jaebeom has been permanently withdrawn from 2PM, and they've totally terminated his contract with them. Why? With the rather shady excuse that he called them on the 22nd of December saying he did something else wrong a few months before that. And worried that this will be an even bigger problem for them, they decided on January the 6th "with the other members" to save their own asses and dump him.

And they announced this when? On the 25th of freaking February. And other things don't match up. Like the fact that the other 1:59PM members were mostly in their hometowns or abroad. So how in fuck would they have been able to discuss this in a meeting to decide to kick their leader out? Also, until very recently, the other 1:59ers had been leaving hints left and right about how much they miss him and look forward to his return. Why would they have done that if they had played a part in deciding to kick him out more than a month before? WAE??!!

I feel so so mad and disgusted at the lengths some companies will go to save their asses at the expense of their artistes and fans. Like the original controversy about Jay calling Korea gay? JYPE actually covered up the fact that he complained about the slave 10-year contract they offered him only a month after he arrived in Korea, by blurring those revealing words and thereby not allowing the public to see it in the context it was in - that he called Korea gay because the only Koreans he was in contact in for that first month were from JYPE who wanted him to sign an inhuman contract of 10 years. That would have meant keeping him under company control until the age of age 30, when he'd be too old for them to make money out of him.

And here my gut feeling is that they're covering something else up. Stupid fucktards. Don't be shocked, I'm just more vulgar now. I don't care.

There's a conference going on between JYPE and fans for fans to ask questions, but cunning and devious JYPE has organised the structure of the discussion to their favour, by granting permission to mostly anti-boycott and personal fans who won't take a strong stand against JYPE. Only a fraction are pro-boycott, so this conference is now more like a fan-meeting where the fans there are to support and not question them. Super nerve-wracking; I'm refreshing my forum pages every few minutes to keep up since there are live updates.

Shit man.

I know my rights, I've been here all day and its time for me to go

From now on, I shall be a guy. They have all the perks, except for NS. I shall be a guy, but gay, because I'd still like my Jaebeom and Yonghwa (whom I shall very excitedly write about in the next post!).

It's so weird that after so many conversations with people about why guys have more freedom than girls, the only answer I've gotten is "because they're guys".

Pressing on further, they then reveal that it's a fact (so they think) that guys are born stronger than girls, and therefore can take better care of themselves than can girls.

So, I ask, what if you were to throw in extra factors? Such as improved strength, and self-defence knowledge? Would that then allow the girls to be on par with guys in terms of self-defence, and therefore more deserving of the same amount of freedom as the guys?

The reply I got was an emphatic "no". So this means that the cause is not that girls are weaker than guys, I reasoned. So why then do girls receive lesser freedom than guys, even if they (let's just say) can take care of themselves just as well?

"Because they're girls", an answer which has led me to conclude that all those people who put forward such an excuse are only going round in circles and show no logic. Therefore, they are quite obviously idiotic morons who are worth my time of day.

Hence the reason why I am a guy as of this moment. I shall still dress like a girl, and men have long hair anyway, but I shall do things like a guy would. I shall not do dishes, I shall not cook, I shall not wash, or dry, or fold clothes, or any of such sissy, girly, weakling things to do. I shall leave my room messy, I shall play computer games all the time, and thus I shall be able to have more freedom.

Freedom, although evasive, is an illusion that I'd like to think I possess.

Your bro,

Fred.

I have never been more serious in my whole life.