i hate going to see the doctor alone - polyclinic, private doctor, whatever
it's just very hard, as a blur teenager, to answer the doctor's questions effectively
like, when the doctor asks: do u wanna go see a specialist? at the hospital?
what am i supposed to answer? i have to ask the 'rents
and do i need money for that?
do i have to take a cab there?
or do they send me on an ambulance? (though this is too far-fetched)
when am i supposed to go?
what?when?why?where?how?... I DON"T KNOW!!
and if she asks: can you take this medicine?
huh? i don't know
you're the doctor, you tell me!
i never look at the medicine i eat
i'm too young for that!
hahah
i think i really irritated the doctor
ya know, i think i may have some record with the polyclinic
(although i don't go there all that often
if i'm home, sick, i don't usually feel up to walking to the polyclinic and facing all the queues)
because when i was given a room to go to to see the doctor, i got the "emergency doctor"
all very weird
and she did seem very senior
hmm...
anyways, yesterday...
i really felt that all was hopeless yesterday
you see, the father said that i could do this thing that i've wanted to do
and i felt so jubilant
i could see the sun coming out from behind the dark cloud of my depressed-ish thoughts of the days before
it seemed like life would turn out the way i wanted it to
i had it all planned out - by february next year, i would be able to pay my parents back for funding this thing
then the mother came home, and she found out
and said no
but the father had said yes first, so i thought it'd be fine
then thespineless dude changed his mind
and i saw all my dreams go down the drain
just, flowing out, and i could do nothing to put a stop to it
i was so upset with them for not seeing the logic in my choice that although i was fasting, i didn't eat until it was 9.30pm
i didn't want to sit at the table with them
all i did when it was time to break fast was go to the toilet, sipped some tap water, and lock myself back in my room
*sighs*
i really dislike them not letting me make my own decisions
it's my life, anyway
and i know i'll feel happier, free-er to be myself, if i do this
by now, though, i think it'd be too late to act on my decision anyway
deadline's coming up real fast
bleargh
fina
(i'm just so sick of life right now)
it's just very hard, as a blur teenager, to answer the doctor's questions effectively
like, when the doctor asks: do u wanna go see a specialist? at the hospital?
what am i supposed to answer? i have to ask the 'rents
and do i need money for that?
do i have to take a cab there?
or do they send me on an ambulance? (though this is too far-fetched)
when am i supposed to go?
what?when?why?where?how?... I DON"T KNOW!!
and if she asks: can you take this medicine?
huh? i don't know
you're the doctor, you tell me!
i never look at the medicine i eat
i'm too young for that!
hahah
i think i really irritated the doctor
ya know, i think i may have some record with the polyclinic
(although i don't go there all that often
if i'm home, sick, i don't usually feel up to walking to the polyclinic and facing all the queues)
because when i was given a room to go to to see the doctor, i got the "emergency doctor"
all very weird
and she did seem very senior
hmm...
anyways, yesterday...
i really felt that all was hopeless yesterday
you see, the father said that i could do this thing that i've wanted to do
and i felt so jubilant
i could see the sun coming out from behind the dark cloud of my depressed-ish thoughts of the days before
it seemed like life would turn out the way i wanted it to
i had it all planned out - by february next year, i would be able to pay my parents back for funding this thing
then the mother came home, and she found out
and said no
but the father had said yes first, so i thought it'd be fine
then the
and i saw all my dreams go down the drain
just, flowing out, and i could do nothing to put a stop to it
i was so upset with them for not seeing the logic in my choice that although i was fasting, i didn't eat until it was 9.30pm
i didn't want to sit at the table with them
all i did when it was time to break fast was go to the toilet, sipped some tap water, and lock myself back in my room
*sighs*
i really dislike them not letting me make my own decisions
it's my life, anyway
and i know i'll feel happier, free-er to be myself, if i do this
by now, though, i think it'd be too late to act on my decision anyway
deadline's coming up real fast
bleargh
fina
(i'm just so sick of life right now)
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