i'm so stuck on the twilight saga by stephanie meyer!!!!
i've devoured two of their books in the last two days, and i'm on track to finish the last one today. i'm still not near the halfway mark, but it's near enough to the end of the series that i'm lamenting the fact that i still want more, and of that there is none.

after i finished the first one, i read reviews of the other ones online, and was genuinely surprised that there were two camps- Team Edward and Team Jacob. i didn't think that there was enough reason to support jacob other than the fact that he was adorable. i mean, understandably, jacob was only 15 in the first novel, little more than a peripheral character who had a crush on bella like any other male in Forks. but after reading new moon (the second book), i'm all for team jacob! and not in the way that i want edward and bella to break up, just that i think the ending does not do him justice.

in edward and bella's case, when reading the series, there is just the sense that this pair is inevitable, that they were made to simply be with each other. they were just so solid together, almost from the very beginning. when edward left bella in new moon, i was devastated; i cried as if it was my own soulmate that i'd lost - so intense were bella's feelings.

but reading about how jacob helped bella heal in that novel, when she did eventually meet up with him, was so heartwarming. he was so right, so natural, so healthy for her. she called him her personal sun, always making her feel better whenever she was in his presence. and i fell in love with jacob. unlike edward and bella, this lacked the sense of inevitability, since what she felt for him could not equal what he feels for her. but you just feel the need to support jacob, because he was part of her soul, a necessary part that gave her happiness. in bella's words,
"his pain was my pain."
"his joy was my joy."

now, cannot be certain if it was said in those exact same words, but you get the gist. jacob is perfect for bella, he's just not what she wants. as much as i like bella being with edward, i miss how she was with jacob (before edward came back).

edward's a century-old soul, so his maturity sometimes seems at odds with bella, who's actually no older than you and i. when they're together, sometimes it's either very hard to tell that the protagonist of the story is just a teenager, which of course doesn't make the story very credible (if you can believe in vampires and werewolves), or the difference in maturity is glaringly obvious. either way, though, i have to admit that they cannot live without each other, that they are too dependent on each other to be separated.

with bella and jacob, however, it's a much more believable story. their relationship appears more like how teenage relationships should be - carefree, fun, happy, with the infrequent squabble that further defines their youth. jacob just seems to bring out the sunnier side of bella. the occasional immaturity feels like it belongs there. i's such a natural part of a youthful relationship, and you just can't help rooting for this one to hold on and survive, even though you know that jacob has no sliver of a chance at all with edward around.

in short, i love jacob, and think that he didn't get the fairytale ending he deserves when stephanie meyer leaves him bella's leftovers (yeah, i cheated a bit by finding out about the ending from reviews). in the end, jacob finds his soulmate in (or imprints on) bella and edward's daughter! now, don't be too alarmed, because in the novel, it's a natural thing, not sick at all, as it's not about carnal desires. and since werewolves don't age as long as they keep phasing back into wolves, jacob will be the best big brother to bella and edward's daughter until she's old enough to resume their relationship at a more mature level.

however, i think it's just not right for jacob! jacob deserves something better! way better! if i had my way, there'd be a separate series for jacob to find this other person. but it's not my series, sadly. =( i guess fanfiction's the only way to go from here...

fin*
team jacob!