Well, just as my little feeling of hope was blooming, it got killed off. By more evidence of a forced departure cropping up.

I feel so tired from longing for too much.

I did read the past few posts, and it was amusing to see how emo I was. The feelings haven't changed, but now I can understand how other people must have viewed me. "So silly, getting so emotional over an idol?" "How old does she think she is, 13?" But what's the point of a blog if you can't write freely in it? Does it matter how immature or over-reacting I may seem, as long as I'm truthfully writing what I feel at each moment?

Have readings to do. Homework to complete, two by this week. As usual, there's not an inch of any inclination in my bones towards doing them, but I will have to. I arrived back at the hostel Sunday night just so I can concentrate on assignments all of Monday.

Yay Hari Raya's next Sunday, but I have midterms that week. Sucky or what? I don't feel like I've learned enough to be writing anything down for professors to read. I'm still in secondary school writing mode, not even JC.

fina*

p.s. pat and I made a youtube video to support Jaebeom. Can you find it? It's kinda embarassing haha.